(Disclaimer: All ideas expressed are my own and sources for facts are provided throughout the article. I am not a professional counsellor and therefore if you are finding it difficult to cope with loss, please seek professional help. The Distress Centre’s ConnecTeen program is a great resource.)
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On Saturday, February 6th, Calgary was rocked with the news of a deadly accident that occurred at Canada Olympic Park. News of the deaths of twins Jordan and Evan Caldwell spread quickly and hit close to home in the hearts of youth and adults alike. I recall waking up on Saturday and scrolling through my news feed and coming across the tragic news of the incident. Death has never been something I’ve coped with easily. I’ve suffered from intense panic attacks on multiple occasions because of my thanatophobia and I find it hard to think about, so I often try to push it out of my mind. However, this isn’t such an easy feat. Learning of the twins’ passing and the discovery that I in fact knew of one individual involved was heartbreaking. This isn’t the first time I’ve had to cope with loss this year and it only serves as a reminder that life is short and bittersweet.
With tragic circumstances such as this, it’s important that we stand in solidarity and support each other in times of difficulty. I’ve always dealt with loss in a weird way. I’ll become rather recluse and reserved, opting to grieve alone than openly, and that’s totally fine if you grieve similarly. However, many can experience conflicting emotions and feel the need to talk to someone, which I strongly support. After the events of Friday, my friends chatted about it and while it remained relatively unspoken, there remains a truth that often conversation can remain one of the best coping mechanisms. This isn’t to say it is the best nor the only way to subsist, but sharing stories of the deceased can help everyone cope. Additionally, denying the death is an easy way to isolate yourself and will perhaps not only frustrate your support system, but also leave you with an unhealthy amount of thoughts and feelings that can build up and act as a huge burden.
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However, If you don’t feel comfortable discussing loss with family or friends, you can see a grief counsellor. In a statement from the Calgary Board of Education, they said “Counselling staff will be available to CBE staff and students who need support during this difficult time”.
In a situation like this, it may seem easy to victim-blame the group of individuals, but it’s important to keep in mind that they never envisioned this outcome and in a statement from Staff Sgt. Paul Wyatt, he explained that the survivors are “severely traumatized”. You may think what you think, but out of respect of the families and individuals involved, please be courteous and refrain from victim-blaming. Don’t listen to rumours, and instead respect them and show support because a little support can go a long way.
In a statement from the twins’ family, they said “Our boys Jordan and Evan were bright lights to all who knew them. We are grieving their loss but confident in their new home of heaven. Our brief 17 years with them were a gift: filled with much love, laughter and fond memories.”
At the end of the day, it seems that sliding down the track after-hours is a tradition and it can be degrading to the memories of Evan and Jordan Caldwell if we remember them simply as the boys who carelessly jumped on that toboggan than rather the boys who were intelligent and full of life. This was an act of foolishness that ended in tragedy and simply nothing more than that.
This event has burrowed itself in the roots of our community and has deeply impacted and affected many individuals not only in our city, but internationally. Two memorial sites have been set up at COP if you wish to pay your respects. One is located at the top of the hill near the eastern edge of the starting deck while the other is at the ‘88 Olympic plaque at the top of the stairs leading from the Frank Day Lodge parking lot to the bobsled track.
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In a closing note, my sympathies and prayers go out to the families of those who’ve been affected.
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