Let’s begin with a confession.
I am not That Girl.
You know the one. She wakes up at 5 a.m. because she wants to, not because she forgot to do her math homework. She drinks green smoothies with mysterious powders in them. She has perfect skin and perfect vibes. She journals her thoughts in gel pen cursive and uses the phrase “daily flow” unironically. Her tote bag contains a novel, a water bottle that cost $45, and absolutely zero crumbs.
I, on the other hand, am That Girl’s distant cousin. I’m “Oops-I-accidentally-napped-for-four-hours Girl.” “Hasn’t-folded-laundry-since-last-week Girl.” “Wrote-a-to-do-list-but-lost-it Girl.”
But over the years, I’ve learned the secret: you don’t have to be That Girl. You just have to pretend really hard—and eventually, the vibes might just catch up to you. Maybe.
Here’s how to trick yourself into thinking you’re That Girl when you are, in fact, deeply chaotic. Spoiler: it involves candles, delusion, and a insane amount of self-gaslighting.
Step One: Romanticize Everything (Yes, Even That)
The secret to becoming That Girl™ is simple: pretend your life is an A24 film. You’re not just washing dishes. You’re releasing negative energy through the sacred ritual of soap and warm water. You’re not commuting to school or work. You’re a mysterious, beautiful soul en route to her next plot twist.
Light a candle. Take a long breath. Let your reflection in the toaster be cinematic. Start narrating your life in your head like you’re the star of an indie film called The Girl Who Almost Had It Together.
Romanticizing the ordinary is your golden ticket to fake-glamour. Bonus points if you do it with a latte in hand (even if it’s made from instant coffee and lies).
Step Two: Master the Art of Selective Productivity
“That Girl” is productive—but not in a chaotic, 27-tabs-open, crying-over-Google-Calendar kind of way. Her productivity is curated. Tidy. Aesthetic. She checks off to-do lists written in gel pen on graph paper and rests her hand beside a perfect stack of self-help books she probably hasn’t finished.
You? You don’t need to be that. You just need to look like that, occasionally.
Here’s the trick: do one productive thing per day and overhype it.
Did you make your bed? Congratulations. You’re halfway to becoming a CEO. Did you take a walk? Grounded, present, and connected to nature. Did you open your Notes app and write “journal” even though you didn’t actually journal? Effort counts. Frame it like a soft win and call it a day.
The truth is, That Girl isn’t real. But the confidence boost from pretending you’re her for 20 minutes absolutely is.
Step Three: Your Notes App Is a Manifestation Portal
Forget vision boards. Forget Google Docs. All the magic happens in your Notes app—the modern diary, therapist, and delulu best friend rolled into one.
Write down the version of yourself you want to become. Not the Pinterest board version—the you who has her own definition of peace, power, and purpose. Write messy goals. Unhinged affirmations. Random quotes you pretend are deep. Ex:
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“I am a magnetic force of excellence.”
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“People watch me and think, ‘How does she do it?’”
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“I will not let one mildly bad day convince me I have a bad life.”
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“I am the CEO of vibing responsibly.”
This isn’t manifestation. This is delusion with style. Trust the process.
Step Four: Outfit = Mood
Okay, listen. You don’t need a matching workout set from Alo Yoga. You just need to wear anything that makes you feel like you could be papped by Vogue on a grocery run. That could mean a slick bun, gold hoops, and a trench coat. Or it could mean pajama pants and dramatic eyeliner. Either way, the goal is to feel unreasonably powerful for no reason.
If the main character energy isn’t coming from within, it might be hiding in your closet.
And yes—wearing sunglasses indoors is allowed. In fact, encouraged.
Step Five: Hydrate Like It’s a Ritual
Drinking water is the easiest That Girl activity you’ll ever do. But let’s elevate it. We don’t drink water—we sip hydration in style. Use a fancy cup. Add cucumber slices. A lemon wedge. A straw with an attitude. Light a candle. Turn on lo-fi beats. Pretend you’re at a spa. Boom. Suddenly, you’re not procrastinating—you’re prioritizing wellness.
I don’t know what it is about pouring water into a wine glass, but it makes me feel like I own multiple streams of income and a French Bulldog.
Step Six: Curate Chaos
This one’s important. Your life doesn’t have to be organized. Just organize how it looks.
Cue: a minimalist shelf in the background of your Zoom call, one clean corner of your room for mirror selfies, and a planner you only use for aesthetic TikToks. No one needs to know the rest of your space looks like an emotional tornado.
That Girl thrives in curated chaos. Let your laundry pile exist in peace—as long as your phone wallpaper says “you are golden” in cursive.
Step Seven: Learn the Power of Saying No (to People, Yes to Yourself)
That Girl has boundaries. She doesn’t go to every event. She doesn’t answer texts immediately. She is busy prioritizing her peace, aligning her chakras, and watching reruns of New Girl while eating dark chocolate almonds.
You can be That Girl by simply reclaiming your time. Stop saying yes out of guilt. Stop doing things because you “should.” Start saying, “That doesn’t align with my energy right now,” even if your “energy” is currently watching Netflix in a face mask.
Step Eight: Build Your Soundtrack
No That Girl moment is complete without a fire soundtrack. You need background music that makes you feel like you’re walking into a coming-of-age montage—even if you’re just going to the library or unloading the dishwasher.
Some starter packs:
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“Cool Girl” – Tove Lo
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“I Am Woman” – Emmy Meli
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“Pink + White” – Frank Ocean
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“supernatural” – beabadoobee
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“Just Like Magic” – Ariana Grande
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“Dog Days Are Over” – Florence + The Machine
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“Get Him Back!” – Olivia Rodrigo
Pair music with a good pair of headphones and you’ve unlocked maximum delusional confidence.
Step Nine: Accept the Duality
Here’s the truth nobody puts on Instagram: That Girl cries in her car. That Girl gets rejected. That Girl spirals. She is not a static image of perfection; she is a person. Just like you. Some days you’ll feel ethereal and magnetic. Other days you’ll eat cold pizza on your floor while doomscrolling at 2am. Both versions are valid.
Tricking yourself into thinking you’re That Girl isn’t about denying the hard parts of life—it’s about learning to hold both things at once: ambition and uncertainty, self-love and self-doubt, aesthetic iced lattes and emotional breakdowns in the shower.
You don’t become her by controlling everything. You become her by embracing the fact that no one really knows what they’re doing—but some of us have better playlists while pretending we do.
Step Ten: Be Your Version of Her
Here’s the kicker: “That Girl” isn’t a universal aesthetic. She’s a construct. You don’t have to want beige interiors, matcha, or Pilates to be worthy. Maybe your version of That Girl eats Takis and writes poetry at 1am. Maybe she thrifted her outfit, runs on iced coffee, and plays Lorde while biking to class. Maybe she doesn’t own a single matching set and thrives in organized chaos.
Whatever your version looks like—own it.
That Girl isn’t someone you become.
She’s someone you already are… when you finally stop apologizing for it.
Final Thoughts
This isn’t a guide to perfection. It’s a gentle invitation to shift your mindset and say, “What if I already have enough within me to be the person I admire?”
Spoiler alert: you do.
So go drink your wine-glass water. Light that candle. Romanticize your cereal. Pretend you’re in a movie. And keep becoming that girl—your girl.
Even if you’re just faking it for now.