Hello, I hope you are having a good day! This blog post is a summary of a recent TEDx Talk that I listened to, “We should all be feminists”, presented by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. She is a Nigerian novelist who has written internationally acclaimed works such as Half of a Yellow Sun, The Thing Around Your Neck, and Americanah.
I’ve divided up the post into a couple of chapters; a summary of the talk, quotes that stood out, and further resources/readings on feminism.
Summary:
Stories from her childhood:
Adichie recollects the memories with her childhood friend, Okuluma, whom she shared a deep relationship with. When arguing with Okuluma, it was the first time someone called her a feminist–but it was said with a negative connotation. In another story, Adichie recalls her childhood ambition to be the class monitor. Her teacher said that the person with the highest score would be the class monitor. Adichie obtained the highest score, however, the role of class monitor was given to a boy–with the second highest score, because he was male and she was female.
Biological Differences, Now and Then:
Adichie observes historically, being physically stronger was a coveted attribute, where men would naturally take on leading roles. However, in this modern society, she notes that this premise should be challenged. Leadership roles are not acquired by the physically stronger individual, but by the individual who is more creative, intelligent, or innovative. Moreover, these characteristics are not affected by someone’s gender.
What society has taught boys:
Adichie eloquently states that society has made masculinity a cage, and boys are restricted inside of this metaphorical cage. She states that society has told boys to be afraid of vulnerability and that they must be strong and “manly”. Moreover, Adichie brings up the example of going on a date. Even with the same amount of money, the boy must pay for the girl to prove his masculinity. Even though the girl may have more money, society expects the boy to pay. Furthermore, Adichie says that society has created men with fragile egos; the more masculine someone is, the more their ego is inflated by society. When that is challenged, they are compelled to cling to it.
What society has taught girls:
Adichie surmises that this results in women catering to the delicate egos of men. Society pressures women to be smaller, to be less than men so they do not threaten the man. Adichie challenges the presumption– why should a man be threatened by a woman’s success? Adichie highlights common societal messages to girls such as maintaining their virginity, the fulfillment of marriage, and being quiet and modest. Adichie sums this up as teaching girls shame, teaching them being born female is something they are guilty of. As a result, Adichie notes that girls grow up unable to see their desires, grow up to silence themselves and make themselves smaller for others.
Men and Women in Society:
Adichie states that societal expectations have exaggerated the supposed roles of men and women. Adichie uses the example of cooking, where women are expected to know this essential skill but men are not. She questions this assumption and states that we should focus on the capability of a person rather than their gender and that we should focus on the interests of that person instead of their gender.
Gender Expectations:
Adichie brings up a personal anecdote, where she recalls a time when she wanted to wear something that was stereotypically proclaimed “girly” and feminine. She recalls that she was worried she would not be taken seriously if she dressed more feminine. Adichie compares the person she was before to the person she is now. She states that she will not subdue her femininity. She states that she has interests that are conventionally more masculine or feminine that make her happy. For that reason only, she chose to make choices on what she wears, and what she likes. Adichie strikingly notes, “The male gaze, as a shaper of my life’s choices, is largely incidental.”.
Key Quotes:
- “Human beings lived then in a world in which physical strength was the most important attribute for survival. The physically stronger person was more likely to lead, and men, in general, are physically stronger. […] But today we live in a vastly different world. The person more likely to lead is not the physically stronger person, it is the more creative person, the more intelligent person, the more innovative person, and there are no hormones for those attributes. A man is as likely as a woman to be intelligent, to be creative, to be innovative. We have evolved; but it seems to me that our ideas of gender have not evolved.”
- “Each time I walk into a Nigerian restaurant with a man, the waiter greets the man and ignores me. The waiters are products of a society that has taught them that men are more important than women. And I know that waiters don’t intend any harm. But it’s one thing to know intellectually and quite another to feel it emotionally. Each time they ignore me, I feel invisible. I feel upset. I want to tell them I’m just as human as the man, that I’m just as worthy of acknowledgment. These are little things, but sometimes it’s the little things that sting the most. ”
- “I am angry. Gender as it functions today is a grave injustice. We should all be angry. Anger has a long history of bringing about positive change; but, in addition to being angry, I’m also hopeful. Because I believe deeply in the ability of human beings to make and remake themselves for the better. ”
- “We must raise our daughters differently. We must also raise our sons differently. We do a great disservice to boys on how we raise boys, we stifle the humanity of boys. We define masculinity in a very narrow way, masculinity becomes this hard, small cage and we put boys inside the cage. We teach boys to be afraid of fear. We teach boys to be afraid of weakness, of vulnerability. ”
- “The problem with gender is that it prescribes what we should be, rather than recognizing how we are. Now imagine how much happier we would be, how much freer to be our true individual selves if we didn’t have the weight of gender expectations. ”
To end this post, I provided a few resources on feminism. Every day, gender’s nuance and complexities affect everyone’s life. So please take the time to learn more about it to gain awareness and contribute to positive transformations in our society and culture. Thank you for reading and have a nice day!
Further Resources and Reading:
Books:
- Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay
- This Bridge Called My Back by Multiple Writers
- The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood
Films:
- On the Basis of Sex
- Little Women
- Thelma & Louise
Prominent Feminists:
- Emma Watson
- Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
- Tarana Burke
Source:
- TEDx Talks. (2013, April 12). We should all be feminists | Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie | TEDxEuston [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hg3umXU_qWc
