“I already failed anyway! so I’ll just try again Monday…”
-Bill, 2023
Monday evening:
“Tch. Well, I failed yet again. I’ll try again tomorrow. But I’ll probably fail again, argh!” -Bill, 2024
Does ‘Bill’ sound like a certain someone to you? The feeling of being stuck in the cycle of trying again and again, and getting nowhere. Telling yourself you’ll take a break and try again a couple of days later only to fail to reach your goal again. It’s okay, you’re not alone. Like you, many others, including myself, have been or are still in this annoyingly receptive cycle. But do you know why you keep trying to start over and do it again? Because, there is a voice in the back of your head (or heart), that goes ‘Man, I could’ve done that better’, which means you are very much capable of doing it, but maybe you just don’t know how to do it, or simply lack the discipline and consistency to do so. Well, here are 3 tips that I hope can help you become your ‘future self’, but for real now.
Tip #1: Consistency and Setting ONE Goal
The key to reaching any goal is consistency, but we all know that. The real question is how? Well, there are many different ways, but here is one;
Pick only ONE long-term goal to focus on achieving, and one or multiple short-term goals to reach that one goal. This prevents you from getting overwhelmed by all the different goals you need to achieve, so you are less likely to procrastinate and stay motivated to keep going. For example, if my long-term goal is to eventually eat 3 healthy meals a day by the end of 6 months (since that is one of my biggest challenges- may be different for you) then, one of my short-term goals is to drink milk for breakfast, then slowly make more progress each week, until I have the appetite and motivation for making and eating fried eggs with some other nutrients for breakfast. Here is a more detailed guide on how to set up SMART Goals and realistically achieve them.
Tip #2: Reward System and Scoreboard System
It’s not easy to stay consistent, so make sure to reward yourself only if you stay consistent (for a minimum period which you think is best for your specific goal. Eg. After every successful week and or after every short-term goal). This way, you will not only be rewarded when you achieve each short-term goal but you will also be motivated to stay consistent due to that reward. That said, rewards can be anything, from buying a delicious snack to doing/playing your favorite pastime or hobby. However, remember to set strict deadlines for when a short-term goal is to be met, to prevent abusing the reward system and end up getting rewarded for procrastinating (which is the opposite of what you want to do).
One way to do that is through making a graph, where you set your goals and log in your daily progress. By doing so, not only can you get instant gratification by seeing your graph line or bar getting nearer to your goal, but it can also keep you even more motivated to keep achieving your short-term goals to reach your long-term goal. Think of it as a sport, for example, basketball. When you shoot and score a point, you get instant gratification by seeing your team’s score go up on the board, and by seeing how much better or worse your score is compared to the opposing team. Thus getting instant positive and negative feedback, fueling your motivation and determination to try harder. If you’d like, you can go ahead and create a group that also shares the desire to become their dream version of themselves and make it either a healthy competition and or support group, where all of you create your score graphs and compete and or hold each other accountable when you find one of you slacking for no good reason.
Here is a YouTube video I came across, by YouTuber Tina Huang, which I found as a helpful guide for making your scoreboard.
Tip #3: Cut-off from a Toxic Environment
Although this may not be completely possible for everyone, (eg. Living in a home, going to school, or working in a toxic environment), it is important to cut off as many toxic people or leave as many toxic environments, as much as you can. Toxic people (Eg. ‘Friends-‘), will not only make your life terrible and make you insecure about yourself, to the point of damaging your mental and emotional health, they will but will also demotivate you from reaching your goal as a result. It is important to surround yourself with a good support system, one that is in-person and or online (eg. Follow Instagram influences that have goals or have achieved a goal that you also have, or an online study group, etc.). This is vital for reaching your goals since encouraging words and unwavering support will not only motivate you to keep going but also go a long way in improving your mental and emotional health. That’s said, who knows? Maybe you just might make some good friends from this support system (if not already), who will genuinely celebrate your success with you and not put you down with discouraging and manipulative words.
Note: A few ideas for Goals
Here are some healthy goal ideas, to help you get started!
- Journaling: Having trouble figuring out your thoughts and feelings? By letting those out on a piece of paper, it will help you dissect and realize the root of those thoughts and feelings, and allow you to have an outlet for those bottled-up feelings. Thus, allowing you to have a clear mind and heart to approach the problem you are facing, and leave you in an overall less frustrated mood.
- Fitness: Whether it be a 10-minute walk a day, or 10 push-ups and jumping jacks per day, exercise will increase your dopamine levels which helps your mental, emotional, AND physical health. A lot of us get the feeling that we are just wasting time, and become too impatient when trying to reach our goals, however by working out, even just a little, you may not be able to see the result, but you will feel the result of your hard work immediately. For example, when you start sweating. Thus by feeling like that your mind and body will feel an increase in dopamine, which makes you feel more instantly satisfied with the effort you put in. Here are more details as to how dopamine and exercise go hand in hand.
- Napping instead of Scrolling: I’m sure we’ve all aimlessly scrolled on our social media when we felt like procrastinating, so another way to combat this is to nap instead (of course, napping excessively isn’t good). By resting your body and brain by napping, you will not only be well rested after waving up, but feeling less down on yourself afterward due to doing something useful, instead of the disgustingly repetitive feeling of wasting your time.
I hope these tips were helpful to you! I wish you the best, I believe in you, and you CAN and WILL do it!