For a long time women were viewed as the weaker gender, and socially they had no power. Until 1839, they were legally subordinate to their husbands and could not own their own property, keep their own wages, or enter into contracts. The Married Women’s Property Acts allowed women more control over their property and finances, but they were still very limited in what they could do. It wasn’t until 1918, following the Electoral Franchise, that women were allowed to vote in Canada, and it took even longer for women of color, who could not vote until 1965. Now, in the 21st century, women have overcome many of these issues, but unfortunately, they are still fighting against sexist regimes such as unequal pay. Today, I want to point out some of the sexist things that are still normalized in society, showing how far we still have to go for justice.
Weddings
Weddings are not for everyone, so there are lots of different opinions, but they’re usually really fun and unique. However, there are some traditions that have extremely sexist origins. First of all, a white wedding dress is standard for many people, but it is actually a symbol of innocence and purity. This comes from a long time ago, but an example I always liked to use is the character of Ophelia in Shakespeare’s Hamlet. This may be a familiar name due to the fact that it is in the Canadian high school curriculum. In this piece of writing, Ophelia’s father and brother talk about her virginity as something that is her duty to protect, because she will not be desirable if people find out she is not a virgin. They even say “with a larger tether he may walk,” referring to Hamlet, saying that he has more freedom because he is a man. It is not like back in those times, but there is still a double standard between women and men when it comes to previous partners and sexual relationships before marriage.
Other than that, the act of the father walking the bride down the aisle also has a dark history. During the wedding ceremony the host will ask “who gives this woman to be married with this man” which then the father replies with “I do.” The act of one man giving a woman to another man relates back to the fact that women used to become the property of a man as soon as they got married. Before, the father would make decisions for her, and now that is her husband’s job. Also, many people still expect women to change their last name when they get married, which, as @power.to.her on TikTok pointed out, is concerning as a woman’s last name is attached to her degree, accomplishments, heritage, and so on. That being said, a woman changing her last name is fine to do, but it should be a decision that comes from her, not something that is forced or even expected.
Marriage
Within marriage, people pointed out that women are treated differently than men. For example, Amanda Castrillo pointed out that women are often referred to by their relationships, like “wife and mother of two” rather than by name. Men don’t usually receive the same treatment. This is mainly because in the olden days women were housewives, and their main goal was to have children, while men had their achievements in things such as work and sports.
Jessie Rae also said that she used her own money for the down payment on a new house for herself and her significant other. But the mortgage and insurance companies address him as the owner and simply call her the co-borrower. I’ve read many of these types of stories, and it shows that many people still instinctively think of the man as the breadwinner.
Lastly, Lindsey Shelton brought up the double standard between male and female sterilization procedures. She has seen multiple doctors about getting her tubes tied, but they wanted meetings with her and her husband, told her she was too young, and told her to have a child first, defeating the whole purpose. Meanwhile, her husband can make one phone call and get an appointment. Now these two are very different procedures, but the fact that medical professionals denied her service for something that is for her body is unbelievable to me.
Parenting
Men and women are also treated differently when it comes to parenting, like in the case of divorced dads, they usually (not always) get the kids on the weekends, being seen as the fun parent, while moms have them during the week when things like homework and bedtimes need to be enforced. As well, it is different when parents enjoy time away from the kids, moms who have a social life are looked down upon, while society generally finds it okay for the man to go out as much as he wants. Sometimes, it is even praised that men stay in the picture at all, and when they take care of their children, it is called babysitting.
There are many other situations like these, for example, from a young age, girls are taught to watch out for their safety, cover up in public, and so on. We need to normalize teaching boys not to sexually assault girls or catcall them to make them uncomfortable. We need to do better.
