Yep, this week brings another round of first world problems! In the humorous way they are presented in “My Grandma follows me on Twitter” by Craig and Marc Kielburger, they never get boring. Let’s jump right in.
#18
I’m procrastinating going to the dentist because I haven’t flossed and I don’t want a lecture from the hygienist.
FYI:
17% of Canadians avoid dental visits due to cost. Of those who do go to the dentist, 16.5% decline recommended care because of costs.
#20
My waitress substituted my penne for rotini, my alfredo for rose, and my Portobello for shiitake like I asked, but she put my orange vinaigrette on the salad instead of on the side. There goes her tip!
FYI:
55% of all full-time wait staff make less than $20,000 per year, working long hours, holidays and weekends.
#21
I’m trying to text my friends while I’m driving, but I keep getting green lights.
FYI:
Almost 3/4 of Canadian commuters drive along, and 8 out of 10 car accidents are caused by distracted driving. How about carpooling?
#22
I had to buy an extra bag of cheezies to get to $5 so I could use Interac at the corner store.
FYI:
On average, businesses pay $0.19 for each Interac purchase, and between 2% – 4% of the total sale for every credit card purchase.
#23
Someoen truned off my word processers spell-cheque, and now I realize I type vreyporly and have forgoten hwo to spel. (It was pretty hard to copy this down, my computer kept spell-checking all the words…)
FYI:
Boosting the literacy skills of Canadians with the lowest comprehension could get 84,000 people off social assistance and save $500 million a year.
#25
Someone is knocking on the stall door, but I can’t seem to trip the motion sensor on the public auto-flush toilet.
FYI:
While Canadians collectively flush one trillion litres of clean water every year, 2.5 billion people worldwide live without adequate sanitation facilities.
#26
My hair gets too messy when I cruise top-down in my convertible.
FYI:
No one sees your mob under a bike helmet. And when you remove it, they’re too busy checking out your healthy body with the fitness-level equivalent of someone 10 years younger, your happier mental state, your lower triglycerides and blood pressure, and your two-year-longer life expectancy to notice your helmet head.
#29
I empty my bank account every months on clothes every month to keep up with trends.
FYI:
Recent immigrants and people with troubled lives often struggle to get good jobs because they lack decent interview clothes.
#30
My parents don’t get me. They think I’m always on Facebook and uploading photos to Instagram. There’s so much more to me and my life!
FYI:
You’re not only one whose unique attributes may go unnoticed. There are numerous First Nations contributions to contemporary society, such as canoes, the medicine in painkillers like aspirin, and growing practices for foods such as corn, beans, squash and potatoes.
Hope you enjoy these problems!
I go crazy about any holiday. Or season. Or anything that entails a specific mood or something of that sort. So, when you combine a) my favourite season, with b) my favourite holiday, and c) my birthday, you get a very festive me.
