Recently, my grandmother passed away at the fulfilling age of 92. This week has been an emotional conquest for my family and I. But through it, I have been able to uncover a few tips on how to deal with mourning over a loved one.
When I first was notified of my grandmother’s death, I was surprisingly calm. I believe this stage is what the professionals call, “denial.” But as I came to realize the reality of the passing of my grandmother, I became very emotional. What I can recommend to anyone experiencing the same pain, is to allow the emotions to take their course; do not attempt to hinder the process by hiding your feelings. Soon you will become somewhat at peace with your grievance.
After my emotional “roller-coaster” -for lack of a better word- I reached the reflection period of the grieving process. This stage can be vary among a range of people. Some people may go through anger, some may journey through more misery or some, including myself, can rediscover the happiness
s they shared with their loved one. Instead of only reflecting upon the regrets that I had or the words I never revoked to my grandmother, I decided to focus on the joyous moments that we shared together. I recalled on her delectable Korean cuisine, her nickname for me (which I shall not reveal to the world-wide web) and her overall sense of benevolence. Although I was able to remember mostly amiable times I spent with my grandmother, there is nothing shameful about reflecting upon upon some of the more sad and resentful accounts. This is your own method of grieving and overcoming the mourning process. But after this stage, make an effort to remain positive of the situation at hand.
My final advice to any of you who may be mourning over someone, is to realize that the person you are grieving for is likely in a more comfortable and peaceful place. My grandmother suffered in a hospice for the last few years of her life. She was unable to move physically, yet her mind was active as ever. Thus, for my grandmother, I know that she is in a much more content state than her life here on earth.
Remember the joyous events of your loved one’s life and rejoice in it. Do not think of this as just a time for mourning over someone, but a chance to celebrate his/her life. If it helps you to find closure as it did me, try to find a physical landmark, where you and your loved one shared a distinct moment together. Once you are there, think about the one you are mourning for and revel among the memories you shared and the life that he/she led.