“How to stop being a Perfectionist” By a Perfectionist
Perfection, something we all strive for in our daily life especially in academics, is defined as the process of improving something until it is free from all flaws and is “perfect”. Although we commonly associate supreme excellency with perfection, there is a clear line that needs to be drawn between being a perfectionist and being excellent. Being excellent is simply about giving the best you possibly can while being a perfectionist is about neglecting the positives and focusing on improving the negatives of the work.
Firstly in order to identify yourself as a perfectionist, you must be the following:
- Afraid of Failure: Many perfectionists including myself are afraid of failure. Failure, however, is relative to all of us. Some might define failure as simply failing a test, getting a bad grade in a course or just getting slightly lower than what you expected on a quiz. Others define failure as not being able to reach the expectations they set for themselves.
- Have Trust Issues: Are you afraid to trust your partner to do the same quality of work as you on a lab assessment? Or do you find yourself in a constant need for control? If yes, then you might just be a perfectionist. Perfectionists often find it hard to adjust to others’ frequency and intensity, firstly because they are inflexible with their own standards, and secondly, because they always expect the best from themselves. Thus, it is natural for them to cooperate with others especially when their work ethic is incompatible.
- Constantly finding flaws: This can be perceived in many ways. Firstly, the most common way to tell whether you are constantly finding flaws is through self-examination. Most perfectionists are more overcritical of themselves than of others around them. Secondly, many perfectionists tend to point out spelling mistakes or minute grammatical errors in others’ speech or writing. To perfectionists, it is extremely important to correct flaws not to impress others with their knowledge but to simply create a surrounding that is free from flaws.
Everyone is a perfectionist, some to a higher extent than others but here are 5 ways on how to stop being a perfectionist and being excellent instead:
- Firstly, Identify if your standards or goals are realistic and attainable. Often times perfectionists are known to set extremely high standards for themselves which can lead to stress at school, workplace, etc. and overall disrupt mental peace. Setting realistic goals will help you maximize your potential along with reduced stress levels. Extremely high and unrealistic standards are only going to cause unnecessary anxiety and can lead to isolation.
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- Secondly, realize failure is a part of success. Allow yourself to make mistakes and learn from them rather mourning over them. Mistakes are simply opportunities to do better than you did before and only result in stronger results. Often times, perfectionists are so afraid of failure that they continue to criticize themselves over minor failures.
- Third, surround yourself with positivity. Research has shown that there is a direct correlation between contentment with work and positivity. When appreciating the positives in nature, others’ work without any criticism, we open ourselves to appreciate other opinions right or wrong, which is crucial to our overall growth as human beings.
- Fourth think of the bigger picture. In the long run, the imperfections we hold inside make us vulnerable and
- “vulnerability is the birthplace for innovation and change” – Brené Brown
- Perfectionists are extremely focussed on removing all flaws from their lives as well as their work that they forget their imperfections are what make them unique. Realizing that a few imperfections don’t make someone an unworthy person, rather contributes to them being human.
- Lastly, Be yourself. Most people try to achieve perfection through incredibly high standards set by themselves, family, society, etc and they feel constantly forced to so. Sometimes, it’s okay to let go of perfection and dance in the rain like an average person. When we expose our true selves to the world, we let go of the image that is expected of us, which not only provides us with inner peace and happiness but also relieves stress.
- Hopefully, you follow this guide and find yourself much more relaxed than before.
References
- http://www.herzlife.com/accident-prone-for-being-a-clumsy-person/
- https://www.gograph.com/vector-clip-art/positive.html
- https://ubisafe.org/explore/impartance-clipart-finding/
- https://blog.todoist.com/2015/04/14/overcome-fear-of-failure/
- https://www.forbes.com/sites/pauladavislaack/2016/01/14/7-characteristics-of-perfectionism/#48b5d2e47e02
