Dear Senior Me: Relax, You’re Going to Graduate

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Dear Senior Me,

If there was one person who fell into the “grade-11-is-the-hardest-year” trap, it was undoubtedly you.

Though procrastination, taking on too many things at once, and not using time wisely are seemingly the qualities of any high school student, as the year dragged on, you became the poster child for it.

It didn’t take long for everything to have its huge effect on you considering you start grade 12 tomorrow, and you’re still haunted by the 9 months of school you didn’t know you would get through.

Now, how is any of that relevant to graduating? For anyone who didn’t know you at all, they’d think you were a lost cause, waiting for the inevitability of not getting their diploma. Call it dramatic, but all your life, you took pride in the fact school came easy to you. After a year of not feeling competent and anything close to pride, you saw metaphorical doors closing on opportunities you always thought were in your reach. Everything just became harder to power through. Whether it was due to external factors or lack of personal motivation – you still don’t really know – I’m just glad you had a change of heart this summer.

Realizations

How 2 months awakened me from a 9-month-long slump

Getting a higher education, having a steady career, and just having a bright, self-made future were never options. All I thought about these last 2 months was making sure they would happen. I knew grade 12 is going to be different in the sense it is “the beginning of the end.” Applying to universities, wearing my graduation gown, and saying goodbye to classmates all seemed light years away, but now, earlier than most, I’ve been hit by those realities.

Last choir concert with my grade 12 friends
Last choir concert with my grade 12 friends

I always find myself looking weeks, months, and years into the future. So when grade 11 was less-than-ideal, I unconsciously was in an end-all, be-all state. Somehow, I justified one bad grade or one late assignment would be determining factors in the success I have in life. But like I said, I had a change of heart. It was nothing close to an epiphany or something to write about in-detail. If anything, summer just became the perfect opportunity to find clarity. I started a mental list of all the things I had to lose should I let grade-12-Kandace be passive. It scared me how extensive that list became. (Just to name a few: my parents’ trust, my friends’ confidence in me, getting accepted by a university.)

So, like any person trying to find clarity, I had a goal I would work towards, which was ingraining into my head how important it is to let my passions lead me towards success. I am achieving that by:

Having Organization
It drives me absolutely insane if I have no organization in my life. If I don’t write on paper or type something in my phone that I will need for later, I will become very stressed. In order to avoid that, I use Google Drive for everything. Need help with research? Do you need to store pictures? Have documents that need to be filed? Need an awesome calendar you can easily customize and get notifications for? Then Google Drive will be your best friend.

It also doesn’t hurt to have a planner or agenda where you write. every. single. thing. happening. in. your. life. down. From personal experience, I would either be too lazy or forget to write things down, so I now use Google Calendar since I always have my phone with me!

Finding Personal Motivation
We all have things that keep us going through the day, and what I find that personally helps with motivation are YouTubers. Not just any YouTuber, though, but the ones who will constantly push you to do your best.

I highly suggest you watch education-focused channels, such as Gabby Aikawa and Thomas Frank. I can easily binge-watch their videos because they are informative, but also inspiring. Knowing these people have accomplished some of my biggest goals in life truly bring out the power in myself to strive for what I want!

Implementation
Just now starting this part, something to keep in mind is I know I have the resources to accomplish my goal. My parents, friends, teachers, counselors, the Internet. Everything is there, but I must remember I have to take action. I’m sure I’m not the only person who feels disconnected with others at times, so I can’t be doing everything on my own. It’s okay to accept help when you need it simply because it is there.

While the answer to all my life’s problems can’t be solved by just these three, it is definitely a start. The more I thought about it, I had the aspects kept in the back of my mind last school year, but they just stayed there. Find it within yourself to take initiative because that’s when everything starts going.

Dear Senior Me,

You might not have it all figured out yet, but I know you’ll get there. Grade 12 will be a sentimental journey, full of hard work and good memories. I’m certain you’ll walk the stage proudly at graduation because knowing you, you want to take any chance you get at feeling like you’re in a High School Musical movie.

So just remember: you wouldn’t be writing this if you weren’t sure enough you were actually going to do it.

Best wishes,

Kandace  🙂