It’s undeniable we all possess fears. The prospect of failure, especially when confronting moments with unexpected outcomes, heightens these moments of insecurity and doubt. It could be a crucial exam, financial struggle, or perhaps a rejection? I’m the same.
“Want to go out… want to g-go out with me?”
To my past self, and all others like me. Seriously man (or woman), what do you have to lose? Rejection is not uncommon, and honestly, familiarize yourself with it. Now I don’t mean to become complacent and wallow in personal sorrows. But rather with these experiences, to gain courage, and gradually be willing to confront personal obstacles. In this way, we emerge from these occasions with an improved outlook and perspective. This is an opportunity to grow, confront, and succeed, and this chance is often compromised in order to retain a sense of security.
Everyone has heard the motivational and inspirational adages regarding how adversity strengthens character. Everyone has heard the aphorisms to value yourself, to not define yourself based on past failures. So you don’t need a High School student to patronizingly remind you of them. I just want to let you know, you are not alone. And as cliche as sounds, it’s never easy, but that’s okay.
“I would define “rejection” as the diversion of personal expectations”
So then this “rejection”, is simply a result of one’s subverted desires. And then I suppose it would be fair to say that failures are defined by what we perceive as a loss.
The entire world, is united under the common umbrella of “failure”, the only variance being our individualized responses to our circumstance.
Consider the most successful or inspirational people you admire. At some point, they shared the same bitter resentment and disappointment, but were able to overcome adversity. Walking along a harsh path, they assuaged the literal or figurative scars of the past, and utilizing these memories, they enhanced and enriched their life, and became magnificent. One such person is Arthur O’Shaughnessy.
I am reminded of the opening stanza of the poem “Ode” when I inevitably encounter failure in my life. You may recognize it today for its countless references in modern times, most notably in Willy Wonka.
We are the music makers,
And we are the dreamers of dreams,
Wandering by lone sea-breakers,
And sitting by desolate streams;—
World-losers and world-forsakers,
On whom the pale moon gleams:
Yet we are the movers and shakers
Of the world for ever, it seems.
Who would know what compelled Arthur O’Shaughnessy, a man who lived 175 years ago to write this poem? But he suffered the same bitterness of torn dreams, I think this was a simple declaration to the world. It was a modest voice crying out amidst the chaotic world. Regardless if anyone heard or listened to his plea it did not matter. The true value arose from the comfort of searching for another human, a sympathizer who appreciated his humble dream and hopeful attempt.
Failure is a universal experience with untraceable long roots, ingrained into both the quiet and the ambitious. We continually contemplate these moments of suffering and indignation today. We dreamed, and we failed.
And we sat alone with the broken fragments of dreams under a starless night left to ponder the futility of “what could have been.”
So I implore you reader. To not surrender when faced with adversity, but confront it, these moments will undeniably prove fruitful. Or as Dylan Thomas would put it.
Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Thank you.
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