This school year has marked the start of a rather awkward phase of life for me; I recently had a “falling out” with the group of friends I’ve been a part of for the past two years, and broke up with my long-time boyfriend. So far, it has been difficult to create friendships with the people I go to school with, as everyone tends to belong to a pre-existing social group, and, with diplomas and post-secondary applications to look forward to, making new friends is not on the forefront of anyone’s mind. But not having a social life has forced me to start doing a few things that I hope to continue once I eventually find a new “squad”:
1. Having better interactions with people.
Because I’m not always hanging out with the same friends, I am suddenly more aware of the people I do get to interact with. I’ve become more deliberate about saying “hello” to acquaintances in the hallway, chatting with my teachers, and joining school activities in order to get to know my classmates better.
2. Spending more time with family.
Now that I’m not going out friends, I spend a lot more time at home. I’ve grown a lot closer to my brother and my parents, because now I put all of the time and energy that I once invested into my friends into my family.
3. Learning how to be happy alone.
This won’t be the only time in my life that I’ll have to cope with being by myself. Sometimes, people will disappoint me; I can’t always rely on others to affirm me and keep me going. Fully understanding how cheesy it sounds, this experience has helped me to develop a healthy self-attitude and to start finding other things that make me happy, like working out every day, listening to music, and simply dancing around the house.
4. Less gossiping.
My friends and I used to talk about other people all the time; it is only now that I am realizing how negative and toxic that behaviour was. When someone made me mad, it was so easy to seek out friends who would justify and fuel my anger. Without anyone to “hate” my enemies with me, I am now forced to view conflicts more objectively; often, I come to see how my own faults contributed to a given situation, which has really helped me to mature as a person. I still cry watching Disney movies, but, hey, we can’t have it all.
5. Having empathy for other people.
When I had lots of friends, the idea that other people might not have so many wasn’t on my radar. Especially in high school, I feel that people often just don’t realize how much others could use their time or support. Now that I am dealing with not having friends, I am more deliberate about asking other people (with varying degrees of subtlety) who they hang out with, if they go out with friends very often, or if they are feeling lonely.
So try to do more of these things when you do have friends! After all, having friends is pretty great. 🙂
Image taken from viralgoal.com