The journey of learning to accept myself

Alone and wondering, “Who am I?” A question that I’ve been thinking about for years, struggling to find the answer to, however for some reason I feel as though that question is incomplete. It should really be “Who am I, and who do I want to be?” Or is it, “What do I want to be?”. All these questions yet all unanswered.

For someone who has been striving to find herself for years, I’ve learned that instead of trying to find yourself, allowing yourself to be is the best way of noticing who you really are. I believe God has spent His time in creating each and every one of us, and we must allow ourselves the simple pleasure of appreciating His creation and embracing ourselves for who we truly are not who or what we want to be. The easiest way to embrace who you truly are is by viewing your like an outsider and then appreciating the beauty within yourself. I know it sounds cliche but it is true.

I know for a fact that what I want to be, I am not, and what God has given me I still have yet to discover. For so long I’ve tried to be what I am not, I’ve tried to act a certain way, dress a certain way, and even talk a certain way but truth be spoken I could never really be that. Because in times of isolation when it was just me, I knew the truth. There is no way I could be what I wanted to be, which was society’s version of Ms. Perfect, because I am just not made that way. Now don’t get me wrong, there is a difference between what you want to be and what you aspire to be like. When I say what I wanted to be like, I meant a completely different person. Which was wrong. You can’t just change and become someone else when you were born to be a certain way. And I’ve finally come to terms with this now, after years of criticizing myself for not being a certain way or being apart of certain social circles. I’ve never been the perfect ideal girl that society expects every young lady to be like. I, like many others, am different. In size, in looks, and in my thoughts and actions. All my life I’ve always wondered why I haven’t been able to truly fit in with any social circle or just generally group of people, and till today I still ask myself why? However as time goes by I am slowly finding the answers to all these questions.

We are all made to be unique individuals, and it isn’t mere coincidence as to why I am who I am. I believe when God sent me into this world, He sent me with a purpose, and made me a certain way so that I am able to fulfill my life’s purpose. So instead of beating myself up for who I am, I am choosing to embrace her. Because, if I may say so myself, she is beautiful in her own way.

And I urge all of you to learn to love yourselves too, we are who we are, we might as well learn to embrace it. Find the beauty within yourself, and own it. We are all like snowflakes, none of us are the exact same, and that is what makes us beautiful. Different is good. Different is normal. Regardless of what the “society” says.