20 Good/Bad Jokes

I love jokes and puns! Here is a collection of 20 random puns/jokes to tell your friends, your family, your dog, your cat, your fish, yourself, your depressed-from-last-semester’s-report-card-soul, etc! I hope they will lighten up your day and maybe give you a good laugh. 

N.B. The answers are almost right underneath the questions, so don’t scroll too fast!

Q1. What’s brown, hairy, and wears sunglasses?

A1. A coconut on vacation.

Q2. What do you call a nose with no body?

A2. No body nose. 

Q3. Why is Cinderella so bad at soccer?

A3. She keeps running away from the ball. 

Q4. What do you call paddling in a dried-out river bed?

A4. Ex-stream rafting.

Q5. What steps do you take if a lion is chasing you?

A5. Big ones

Q6. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?

A6. Frostbite

Q7. Why did the cat have to go to the dentist?

Q7. It ate too many tweets.

Q8. What’s a pirate’s favourite letter?

A8. You may think it be R, but his true love be the C!

Q9.Why is it a bad idea to play cards with a big wild cat?

A9. It might be a cheetah.

Q10. What do you call dolphins that play in a band?

A10. An orcastra

Q11. Why did the sailors have to stop playing cards?

A11. The Captain was standing on the deck.

Q12. Why can’t you starve in a desert?

A12. Because of all the sand which is there.

Q13. When is a car not a car?

A13. When it turns into a driveway.

And now for an entire stream of elephant jokes!

Q14. What’s grey, weights 2 000 pounds, and has two trunks?

A14. An elephant on vacation.

Q15. Why is an elephant big, grey, and wrinkly?

A15. Because if it was small, white, and fluffy, it would be a bunny.

Q16. Can an elephant jump higher than a house?

A16. Of course! A house can’t jump at all.

Q17. What time is it when ten elephants are chasing after you?

A17. Ten after one.

To make it special, the last three are not question/answer style!

18. I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
19. Someone in my apartment building rearranged all the buttons on the elevator. That was wrong on so many levels.
20. I remember this one time, someone asked me for some puns. So I read them 10 puns that would make them laugh. But, alas, no pun in ten did.

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