15 reasons why being single on Valentine’s Day is completely awesome and not sad at all

(This post was co-written by me, Vicky, and my fellow blogger Kerri.)

Are you tired of being devastatingly lonely? Are happy couples depressing you with their excessive cuteness? Well, that should not be the case, because being single on Valentine’s Day is actually extremely fun and totally not pathetic at all! If you’re not convinced yet, then take a look at the following list, because by the end, I guarantee you’ll want to be single every Valentine’s Day.

1. You don’t have to impress anyone. Just imagine all the time you waste by trying to look good, be smart, or act funny for potential significant others, and not to mention the effort needed when you have a significant other! Being single allows you to be yourself, instead of some attractive, humorous, totally fake person.
2. Being alone is inexpensive. Things ain’t cheap in the world, especially when you need to constantly buy useless treats and trinkets for others! Seriously, like your Valentine is going to keep that Spongebob Squarepants wind-up toy you gave them last year.
3. No annoying/clingy text messages. Those late-night Tiny Tower notifications are obnoxious enough; do you really want to deal with talking to someone at 2 a.m. the night before your calculus exam? No, didn’t think so.

4. 

   More time for homework, friends, and watching the Youth Week video. Having a boyfriend or girlfriend is extremely time-consuming. A single life is a fun life filled with studying and platonic social interaction!

5. No minimal hygiene required. I’m pretty sure we’re not the only ones who are sick of all this showering and teeth-brushing. Avoiding intimate encounters with others means that you may never have to bathe again, meaning even more time to watch the Youth Week video!
6. More money for frozen yogurt, Flames tickets, cat portraits, or whatever else you like to spend your hard-earned dollars on. This ties into the “no having to waste money on others” point, but who doesn’t enjoy selfish and impractical consumerism?
7. Quality “me time.” Going to the spa with your Valentine would just be awkward. In fact, being wrapped in seaweed is awkward enough alone. Why not ditch the romance and just go for the mani-pedi instead?
8. It’s okay to Facebook creep attractive people. We all do it, don’t even lie. Being single enables you to engage in such sneaky behaviour guilt-free!
9. No listening to your significant other whine about things you couldn’t care less about. People are individualist by nature, and therefore it’s only natural that you should want to tune out whatever your Valentine is ranting about now. If you don’t have a significant other, silence is even easier to achieve since you’re always alone!

10. 

    No fights that make you sad. It’s better to have never loved at all than to have loved and been yelled at.

11. Cheaper phone bills. With significantly fewer phone conversations, you can finally get rid of that lame unlimited text plan and put $10 a month towards something valuable, such as a life-sized Edward Cullen cardboard cut-out!
12. Sweats always fit.  In the life of a single person, flattering jeans are completely unnecessary! Since you are too busy with your exciting single life to worry about attracting soulmates, you can pull out those old University of Montana sweatpants that you stole from the school locker room floor in eighth grade and wear those puppies like they’re the only pants you own!

13. 

    There’s more space. Ever been sitting on the couch next to a significant other and wishing they would just move to the floor? You need your legroom! In the world of Being Single, you’re allowed to stretch out and put your feet up wherever you choose. Oh, the liberation!

14. Who needs love? Love is an overrated form of friendship which discourages friendship with others! Be free of those monogamous chains and be asexual! It’s all the rage among fungi (and we’re talking about the fungi that sit at the popular table. Yeah.)
15. If you are a believer in love, find yourself someone who will never upset or leave you. Like a fish. Fish make quite good significant others, and you don’t even have to clean up after them when they go to the bathroom.

See? We’re not sad, lonely, or pathetic! Not at all!