Last time, we talked about our Social Mammoth and how the whole Mammoth situation is getting out of hand. We’ll be talking more about our A.V and how we can weaken the Mammoths influence over us and our lives and let our A.V take over. (This is the second part to my first article right here. Please go and read part one first, it will make your life much easier.) This article is based upon Waitbutwhy’s original article. Please be aware that this website has strong language and I’m making a more kid-friendly version in my two articles. All ideas and photos come from Waitbutwhy.)
Step 1: Get to know your A.V, they’re not a horrible person :).
This is rather a hard step, but you need to do it nonetheless. It takes some serious and honest reflection with yourself to come face to face with the true you. You need to put all the opinions, biases, rumours etc. that people told you and you believe to be true aside. Here are a few questions to ask yourself when you are searching for your A.V:
- We are interacting with lots of people every day, how many of them do you really like? This can be anyone, so don’t be shy. Of course, there are some things we can’t change i.e our parents, as much as you don’t really like them.
- Were there or are there anytime(s) in your life or day that you felt like your morals were being pushed aside? If yes, what moral(s) are they? Do you think that that/those moral(s) play a smaller part in your life now? How do you think you can bring them back into your life?
- Is there anything in your life that you don’t like doing, or when you do it, you feel like you’re being forced? I.e hobbies, sports, (homework does NOT count), clubs. If yes, how do you think you can make said activity more fun, or how you can eliminate it from your life?
- Do you have a different world vision than some of your peers? If yes, do you get teased about it a little too much? If this is the case, don’t be afraid to change the people that surround you, but if they still don’t stop, go to see an authority, your world vision is different and unique, and you shouldn’t change it in order to be friends with someone, because, let’s face it, you probably won’t remember the names of all your classmates from grade 9. (I can’t remember my classmates from grade 6, and it was only two years ago.)
If you’re having trouble, try changing your environment. Maybe you need to be alone, maybe you might want to sit in a café or a park bench. Or maybe you just need to record your thoughts down. Experiment around with it and see what suits you best. This can also mean that your Social Mammoth has more power than you thought it had, and these questions are making it uncomfortable, this is a good sign, but you need to try harder.
Step 2: Figure out where the Mammoth is hiding.
This can be fairly easy. There are three places where you can find the Mammoth.
Your fears:
Your guilty pleasures, hidden talents, failure etc. These are things that are the Mammoth’s worst nightmares i.e being asked to sing in front of everyone, even though you have a good voice, having to do an oral presentation in front of the school and many other examples. Simply this is all rooted within the fear of failure, why are we scared to fail? Perhaps it is because we think that we will be embarrassed and publicly shamed. But take away the public and you have nothing left. There is no shame in being naked, it’s society who has put these influences upon us.
Things that you take too much pleasure in:
We all know that time when we get praised and we become as proud as a peacock. Maybe you care a lot about your social status? Social media is a good example, if you track down every single person that unfollowed you or you check to see who didn’t like your photo on Instagram- you definitely do. Or when we work only to get the praise of a Puppet Master, and as soon as we get it, we stop working. These are all habits that are solely run by the Social Mammoth. If you can address these habits and put a stop to them, you’re embarking upon the right track.
Decisions that you don’t feel comfortable taking without the approval of others:
I have an example from my own life. In grade 6, I had a choice: I could either stay in CGS (Calgary Girls’ School) or I could go to Branton and into their Late French Immersion program. I really wanted to go, but I was afraid of what my friends and teachers would say to and about me. (My music teacher was my Puppet Master) I almost gave up, before I agreed to go on a tour of the school with my parents and that was when my A.V told me that this was the school for me, friends or no friends and that was one of the best decisions of my life. And surprisingly, when I did tell my friends, I didn’t receive the silent treatment. So, the Social Mammoth can over exaggerate things too.
Step 3-Cuttig the Mammoth out of your life.
As bad as the Mammoth seems, we can’t do this:
We are humans and humans have Social Mammoths, that’s it that’s all end of sentence. What you really need to do is take the Mammoth out of important aspects and decisions of your life be it choosing your college or university, career, life partner, friends etc. These are crucial areas where your A.V needs to be in charge.
Ok, so how are we going to live with the Mammoth? Well, you Mammoth has a low I.Q and assumes more than 99.99% of things in life. So this is what the Mammoth thinks is happening:
But in reality:
One more reason that the Mammoth cannot survive at the head of the wheel anymore:
Our Mammoths aren’t built to lead, they are supposed to follow and support your A.V. Every single one of our Mammoths are the same, so if you put your Mammoth and you friend’s Mammoth beside each other in the same situation, it will be infinitely hard to tell one from the other. It’s our A.Vs that make us different than the person that’s sitting beside you on the C-Train. That’s what makes us interesting, Mammoths are boring, A.Vs are interesting. People are more attracted to A.Vs than Mammoths, this is true, especially among friends and colleagues. Do you know that person who everyone wants to hang out with and be their friend? They don’t have to be the ‘popular’ boy/girl, I’m talking about the person that is always around people and doesn’t have one set friend or a group. Everyone seems to be their friend. These are the people who have tamed their Mammoth and have let their A.V lead them in life. To quote Waitbutwhy: “People respect someone with the strength of character to have tamed their mammoth.“
Ok, so, how is our A.V going to take over? We’ll just snap our fingers and BAM! We’re A.V-driven people. Unfortunately, there hasn’t been any proof that we can do that, as amazing as that sounds. If it was like that, what the heck am I doing right now?
Start being yourself. This is harder than it sounds, not only do you have to stop thinking about how people see you when you are being yourself, but you have to have courage. Go back to your reflections on getting to know your A.V, remember how hard that was? Well, this is ten times harder. But, all you have to do is take baby steps. Let’s say that you love to sing, but you’re too scared to sing in public. Acknowledging this is a great step forward. Now, maybe there is a musical happening at your school, why not sign up to audition? Another step to becoming yourself. You can see where all of this takes you. Maybe you get a part, maybe not. But don’t give up if you’re just part of the ensemble and have only one line, you auditioned! You finally faced your fear of singing in public and next time you’ll be even more comfortable.
Each time you’ll go further into the waters of defiance, you’ll be treading water and swimming around comfortably. Do you think Michael Phelps started with the butterfly stroke when he first went into the water? (the pool water, not the waters of defiance)
“Almost nothing you’re socially scared of is actually scary.”-Waitbutwhy
If you accept this thought, you will have already succeeded in weakening your Mammoth’s influence over you and your choices, like so:
Now, your Mammoth is still with you, but now you have control over it than vice versa.
This is a difficult shift for anyone to do, but well worth the trouble. You will comfortable in your own skin, you will be infinitely more happier, you will be appreciated for just being you, and you will stop caring about the opinions that shouldn’t matter to you.