“Be the bigger person” is a phrase that adults commonly say to kids at a young age, teaching them that they must always be “bigger,” more forgiving, kinder, and more charismatic. Although this phrase may sound fine, there are a lot of deep-rooted problems that come with the phrase.
- Sets kids up for failures
This phrase might sound nice, but in reality it’s a complete nightmare for kids in the future. It engrains this thought into their brain, from a young age that they must always “forgive” people, even when the action done towards them, should be (or is) unforgivable. This can especially be dangerous for young girls, as it teaches girls, that they must always forgive, even when they shouldn’t. This can be quite harmful, for women who get into relationships, as they were always taught to “forgive people,” and can lead to several harmful relationships in the future (i.e. toxic friendships, domestic violence relationships, couple rape relationships).
2. Teaches kids to never give up on friendships/relationships
Although this phrase impacts many young girls, it also impacts all of us. It teaches kids that they should never give up on friendships/relationships, no matter how bad it makes them feel. This phrase is dangerous to all of society, as phrases like this can teach people that no matter what you must forgive people, even if you can’t. And if you can’t forgive them, society forces you to believe that there’s something wrong with you. This can eventually lead to suicide/harmful thoughts, as kids believe that something is wrong with them if they don’t forgive others.
3. What it implies to the other person
This phrase implies that the other person is to immature to apologize, and that you should give in. This is extremely dangerous for kids developing relationships, because as they mature, they are less likely (or sometimes more likely) to see the toxic signs. And if their less likely, this can lead to toxic relationships, which is both dangerous and harmful to all individuals involved.