The Pressure to be Perfect: How Ambitious Youth Can Avoid Burnout

In the current day and age of hyper-achievement, where only the success stories are shared, youth are becoming more and more stressed and overly self-critical. The need to perform, the need to prove yourself to others, becomes so intertwined with a youth’s sense of identity that when they do not reach these goals, they believe they are inadequate. There is a fundamental difference in the way students are being viewed, compared to previous goals through education. Today, youth are conditioned to believe that all they can bring and all they are worth is some economic value. Studying for the sake of getting a high-paying job is promoted instead of studying for the sake of learning. Often starting around thirteen, we are told our entire life is going to be based on the results we yield today. This breeds insecurity and self-loathing, often later leading to burnout. 

The biggest contributor to student burnout has to do with early praise in adolescence. Some students show high aptitude early on in their lives, often due to high reading levels and math comprehension. This aptitude is met by praise; however, this praise is not understood by children at such a young age. Instead of interpreting it as gratification for being exceptional, youth view that as the new “standard” which becomes intertwined with self-worth. Believing they are only worthy of praise, affection, or attention when overachieving. When these students find school more difficult in the future and have to grapple with the reality that they are not as “special” anymore, that’s when we see self-inflicted destruction. Students who used to be extremely high achievers become average students. Procrastination because of the fear of failure is incredibly common. This is fueled by the belief that they are not “smart” anymore, instead of a more realistic interpretation that school is becoming more difficult, and having to work harder to maintain grades is very normal. 

Social media and the glamorization of toxic study methods and high achievement have only furthered this issue. The accepted belief is that you have to prove everyone wrong and prove your worth. This enables further self-sabotage as youth begin to believe that hyperachievement is the only way to prove their importance and value. The issue with social media is that it only shows this ideal, not the work that went into the outcome, and not the many failures that occurred along the way. Social media casts an even wider net of people to compare yourself to; additionally, these posts are not truthful, as people don’t post their failings, only their successes. In reality, and as cliché as it sounds, nobody is perfect. 

Perfectionism is a trait that is extremely common in teenagers, and while interpreted as an action, perfectionism is more of an attitude toward oneself. An attitude that places the bar for yourself impossibly high, and when an individual fails to meet this expectation, they find themselves in a downward spiral. Ruminating over past mistakes, and fear that it means failure in the future. 

The question then becomes, “How do we prevent burnout and perfectionism?” While this issue cannot be immediately fixed, improving one’s attitude is the best way to start. First, you need to emphasize to yourself what you can control and what you cannot. You can control how much you study, but you cannot control others’ perceptions of you. You can control how much effort you put into an assignment, but you cannot control others’ interpretations of your efforts. Focus more on the journey than just the goal. The point of education is learning and growth, not perfection. Shift gratification from outcome to effort. Appreciate the amount of effort you put in, not just the outcome. Finally, know that you are doing your best, and that is enough. You do not need to prove yourself to others; you are the only one who needs to be happy with yourself. 

Perfectionism and hyperachievement in youth don’t necessarily correlate to success in post-secondary education or in life as a whole. This is due to how perfectionism breeds extreme self-criticism and burnout. Recognizing these self-destructive traits in yourself can help you develop strategies to deal with these factors. Realizing that these years of high school and jr high are not the end-all be-all. Establish your interests and personality outside of just academics. Finally, give yourself grace; you are only human and are just trying your best.