I used to look at couples and think, “Yikes, I’m never gonna be like that.” Now I look at myself and think, “Wow, I love this.” All you singletons better think twice before you puke, because we relationship people used to feel that way too. So, let’s break it down. I’m not saying a relationship should change who you are, not at all. If anything, a relationship just helps you see who you are more clearly.
- Love yourself!
Yes, it’s true. That super cliché thing you hear all the time that you might think is stupid is not. It’s become controversial that a relationship is the key to making your life everything you ever wanted. Well, sorry to break it to you but a relationship isn’t going solve all your problems. Don’t get into a relationship unless you are 110% sure that this person is going make you a better you. You aren’t going to find someone to ‘fix you’. Truth is, you’re the only one that can make yourself truly happy. Finding this inside yourself might be tough at first, but you might be able to use that special someone to just help you see what a wonderful and lovable person you really are.
- Honesty is the best policy.
Don’t try to keep secrets. If something is bothering you tell that person even if it seems super scary. The relationship is not going to work unless you tell each other everything that might stir up some uncertainty. A healthy relationship will only happen if you solve a problem before it even is a problem.
- Work for it.
Don’t underestimate all the effort that goes into a relationship. Remember that awesome show Friends? Spoiler Alert! Monica and Chandler have their first fight and Chandler just goes and assumes that’s it for the relationship. Literally me. That is not at all how it is; you fight and then you make up. Although, don’t be like Chandler and propose to your significant other (we’re teenagers). Apologize, buy them flower,s and acknowledge whatever it is you did wrong. You’ll thank yourself in the long run.
- “I love you.”
Something not a lot of people think about is that there is no timestamp on love. You can say it after two years or after two months. You feel it when you feel it and you can’t change that. Just remember, don’t say it back unless you mean it and you’re ready. It is a big step to make yourself this vulnerable so just make sure they deserve your vulnerability. Check out this article that helped me chill a lil bit.
- You deserve it.
Something big for me was accepting the fact that there’s someone out there that loves me. Acknowledging that I’m worth something and I’m worth loving. Everyone has the capacity to be loved and to love. You deserve it and I deserve it. Don’t let your insecurities get in the way of that, let that person love you. Invest yourself in the relationship and remember that they’re just adding to the awesomeness of your life; so keep in touch with everything else. Don’t be that friend that ditches the squad for bae.
- Get your head in the game.
Do not falter, don’t be stupid. You might think that you like the attention you were getting from other people but that was all temporary and this is for real. I only just realized that I don’t need a safety net anymore, because in a relationship you are safe. Let go of whatever trail of exes you may or may not have left behind. You’re in this for the win.
Relationships are about enjoying life together and realizing that it isn’t just you anymore. Life is already a beautiful adventure, now you just have someone to go on the adventure with you. Don’t let that person change you. Let yourself grow with them and through them. Things might just seem a little brighter and you have a hand to hold when you walk down the street. Don’t psych yourself out, just go for it.