Preface: This is a funny, fictional script for a radio advertisement. Try reading it aloud in a funny voice, and have fun with my satirical “advertisement”! ** Note: The product “RDTBBPBACI” does not exist in real life.
“…Have you ever had bad breath? If not, you’re not human, go fly back to Mars. If yes, you’re in luck!
Introducinggggg the Rad Death to Bad Breath Pills by Alex Companies Incorporated, also known as the RDTBBPBACI for short!
Rad Death to Bad Breath is an innovative approach to a problem that has affected humankind for thousands of years. Well, not just us.
When dinosaurs were alive, their number one priority was not food, water, or shelter as you may have guessed. No, in fact, it was the presence of bad breath that haunted them… so much so that they went extinct!
We don’t want this to happen to humans, do we? I guess Rad Death to Bad Breath just saved your life. Buy Rad Death to Bad Breath! It even rhymes, which is the sign of a creative, established product destined to save the world!
There is, however, one small side effect, a side effect so small you probably won’t care, but since we are such a great company, we have decided that you deserve to know.
Exactly 2 months, 6 days, 22 hours, 17 minutes, 26 seconds, and 384 milliseconds after you have ingested the pill, you may or may not grow a third arm from your left shin. Don’t worry it’s not a big deal. But you should proceed to cut it off right away, which shouldn’t hurt too much. If you don’t, other small, insignificant (fatal) side effects may or may not occur.
Other than that, Rad Death to Bad Breath is the solution to save our society from the detrimental and diseased clutches of the devil that is bad breath.
Buy one pill for only ONE (hundred thousand) dollars! But if you want a huge discount, buy 3 pills for just two hundred ninety-nine thousand nine hundred ninety-nine dollars and ninety-nine cents!!! Yes, that’s right folks, get your three pills for a limited discounted price now…”
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