As teenagers growing up, we’re beginning to face daily struggles and pressures revolving around one question; what are we going to do with our lives? I can say my biggest fear is amounting to absolutely nothing. While I know (ok, strongly hope) that won’t happen; there is the slight, terrifying possibility it could. Which is alarming and I would probably cry.. But other than the typical norms we can file our futures away in; going to post secondary, having a family, raising said family, sending kids off to school, retiring, the suburban dream, and everything else in between; everything else in between can be the best parts of our lives. I feel like I have the most motivation to do something for myself, something enlightening and wonderful, when I’ve given up on everything else that I’m actually supposed to be doing. To put that into perspective, people will save for a trip they don’t need to take, but want to. They will stay up until 3am, even if they have to be up at 6am, just for the sake of spending more time with someone. Funny, huh? People will make time and put in effort for the things they want to, regardless of how busy their lives can be and what others say.
The talk of post secondary is on the tip of every tongue, that is, of every adult I know. I’m not necessarily a huge fan of high school, but I do appreciate the security blanket it envelopes me in. I envy those who know what they’re doing after high school, whether it be going to school or not, solely because I still want to venture out, wrapped up in something I can rely on. Though the chance of failure is much more real after high school, for those who have a plan, even if it doesn’t include college or university, they will work hard. People do not like to fail, it’s not in our nature no matter where we’re going or what we’re doing.
I had the liberty of interviewing a few of my friends in Grade 12, ready to graduate and begin life on their own; whether they have a structured plan, or not. I asked them all a series of questions to get a true perspective on how people view their plans and who has the most structure, versus the least and how confident they are in it.
Ethan, 17:
Q: In your final year of high school what have you learned the most and appreciate now?
A: “It’s better than Grade 11. My relationships have changed with a lot of people, because they have different interests and it isn’t really anyone’s fault. It’s a time to focus on yourself.”
Q: What do you want to do after high school?
A: “When I was really, really young I wanted to be a palaeontologist, a marine biologist in junior high, and in high school I’ve been thinking more about business. I’ve always been interested in the music scene. Like any other kid, being in business with a music company or a band was the dream.”
Q: Have you received a lot of pressure from your parents about post-secondary, and how has that influenced your decisions?
A: “My parents have talked about university, but I’ve always planned to go to school. I have been pressured, but to go is my decision. I don’t think I could not go to school, that’s too big of a risk to take.”
Q:When you’ve grown up, where do you see this plan putting you in life?
A: “Happiness counts more for a good life. I want it to be enough to make me happy and keep me happy. Jobs are more likely to hire you if you have a degree, even if the degree doesn’t relate to anything about the job.”
Erin, 17:
Q: In your final year of high school what have you learned the most and appreciate now?
A: “I’ve learned a lot about having confidence and being independent, and not caring at all. Grade 11 mattered the most and now I’m worn out. Everyone’s annoying now and you really have to ignore it and focus on yourself. Now I know my core group of friends that I like to spend time with, I know I don’t need to make everyone happy. My family has gone through my changes with me, my relationship with them has changed, but they’re still there.”
Q: What do you want to do after high school?
A: “Four things I know I want to do. I want to work. I want to do theatre. I want to travel for a purpose, not to benefit myself but help people, and I want to get a lip piercing. I don’t know about university yet, it depends on this following year. So it is a possibility.”
Q: Have you received a lot of pressure from your parents about post-secondary, and how has that influenced your decisions?
A: “I’ve gotten so much pressure about university from my parents, mostly my mom. My mom always wanted me to do science and math, and she doesn’t even know if she wants me to do theatre anymore, and that’s my passion. I haven’t told her that I don’t know if I’ll go to university, or even if I really want to. My dad is really whatever about it. The pressure influenced me in the sense of considering all my options. The thought of not going to university didn’t even cross my mind until recently. If it isn’t where I should wind up, I don’t want to do it. It shouldn’t be necessary if it’s not where I’m supposed to go.”
Q: When you’ve grown up, where do you see this plan putting you in life?
A: “Not Canada, or even North America really. I want to still be able to help people. I know there’s a lot of theatre groups that help people and travel to give a positive message. A family would be nice for sure, maybe I’ll get married at 19, I don’t really want to date though.”
Sarah, 18:
Q: In your final year of high school what have you learned the most and appreciate now?
A: “I’ve learned who is most important and I figured out what I wanted to do. I wish I hadn’t spent most of high school with one person. I realized that the majority of people now I won’t be close to in six months. It’s important to get through high school and have close friends but it’s still not ideal that I’ll lose a lot of my close relationships. It’s not ideal, but I now know what’s good for me and I know I don’t need to please everyone.”
Q: What do you want to do after high school?
A: “I want to travel all summer. Then I’m going to St. FX university in Nova Scotia for a Bachelor of Science in Human Kinetics. I’m excited to be around my family out there, and I want to get involved with theatre, it’ll be close to my dorm. I want to come back and travel more next year and find out what it’s like to be by myself.”
Q: Have you received a lot of pressure from your parents about post-secondary, and how has that influenced your decisions?
A: “They haven’t had any pressure on what I wanted to do because I chose a career path. I’m proud of myself for actually choosing it on my own and not based on what they want. It’s hard to move across the county and away from them. My parents didn’t start a college fund, and they said they’ll pay for me to go to school, but I’m trying to do what I can. I can’t say I was completely discouraged from my past career choices, but I know I should be doing what I’ve chosen now. The biggest thing for my parents was that I had a stable job and that’s hard to establish being an interior designer or an event planner.”
Q: When you’ve grown up, where do you see this plan putting you in life?
A: “I want to come back to Calgary, I couldn’t see myself living any where else. My dream job would be working at the Alberta Children’s Hospital. I want a big family, and I want to be involved in all my kids’ lives. If I needed to take a decade off from working just to be with them, I would. I want a family and I want to be married. The way I’ve been raised is the reason I’ve never doubted not going to university. I have a very structured life plan and I will always choose to follow it and be disciplined, but I will always want to be wild and have a free spirit.”
The thing I learned from these interviews is that sometimes people don’t need a secure plan to go out in the world. Everyone chooses a different path and it is ultimately the confidence one has in themselves and the hope that they won’t fail. If your passions are what drives you, it’s important to pursue them regardless of the lack of societal structure it holds. There is nothing wrong with wanting the structural norm. If discipline and structure is what you want, then pursue it. Pursue it, but never forget that everyone has the option to do whatever they want, providing they work hard to achieve it.
Some people have things figured out, and some need guidance to decide what’s right for them.