March 15: Grade 7
You’d thought of your wedding day once or twice before, but it had always been a pleasant thought. All the people would be celebrating, your friends would be crying and so would your parents. You would walk down the aisle, majestic music filling an old cathedral and light trickling through old stained glass windows. Each step would bring you that much closer to the love of your life.
But that vision would never come to be. A lot of things had changed since only yesterday’s dive into the unknown.
March 14:
You had been walking home from school. It was a beautiful spring morning, only a touch of snow had blanketed the grass. You’d struggled to text your friends through your bright pink mittens and had been thinking of that cute guy in your class, when you entered your home and saw a strange man sitting with your parents in the front room.
They had turned to look at you and you smiled politely, waiting for some sort of introduction. And when it came, you wish you’d never gotten it at all.
“Hello,” your father had said, “May I introduce you to your fiancée.”
Fiancee? Questions flew to the tip of your tongue and confusion brought a faint blush to your cheeks. The man smiled at you and got down on one knee to propose. Ring in hand.
“Will you…” he asked, “Marry me?”
You knew it wasn’t a question and that your parents had already accepted, rendering this no more than a formality. You weren’t able to force out an affirmative reply so you merely nodded and felt a cool ring slip onto your left hand. Your parents’ claps echoed in the small space and they smiled proudly at both of you.
And just like that you were expected to marry a man you had just met that was barely younger than your father.
**
You woke up the next morning, dreading that math quiz you had just remembered. And then everything suddenly came back. The man, who’s name you still didn’t know, the proposal and the coming wedding.
You weren’t even sure if you’d go to school anymore depending on what your…you couldn’t bear to think the word, what your parent’s friend wanted. After all, your commitment was now to him and would be ‘until death did you part’.
You swallowed your tears and pushed yourself into a sitting position. You held yourself back from reaching over and grabing your phone because you knew that even your best friend could never know. She would never ever know. You felt ashamed that you were unable to change your circumstances and had no decision in the choice that was supposed to be yours but still not for many years.
You stared out the window at the ironic sun that beat down upon the glorious day. The minutes blurred to hours and you found yourself in a dress shop, awkwardly draped in the first of many dresses you were to try on. When your mother first noticed, she was moved to tears as her ‘little girl’ was ‘all grown up’.
You stared into the eyes of your confused reflection, both feverishly searching for the answer to the question ‘why’ and for some way out of this situation that was going miles too fast. Running your hands through the yards of white fabric you marveled at it’s delicacy that contradicted it’s figurative weight.
I am to be married. I am about to be married.
Days passed in the same sort of blur. Things hadn’t slowed down unfortunately. The cake had been ordered and wedding magazines were strewn throughout the house. The dress had been found, sized and ordered and things were going along exactly as planned.
You had been pulled from school until the ceremony to help with plans and preparations and although the excitement was contagious, you seemed to be immune. Every day, you waded further and further from the shore, further and further from what you knew.
**
The day arrives. That ‘joyous’ April 17th. A day that you are expected to celebrate for the rest of your life.
You try to put on a brave face as the photographers arrive. Your parents are so so happy and you can barely muster a grimace. The cameras leave and you quickly excuse yourself. All the relatives have arrived for your big day and there’s barely a moment of peace to be found.
Breath in, breath out. Swallow your tears. Yet again, repeat and repeat. Your whole life now revolving around a man you didn’t know only months before. But you will do this. Maybe not for yourself. But because it’s just the way things are going to be now. You quietly open the tap of the bathroom and watch the water slowly running as your sadness fades away to be replaced by a regretful acceptance.
Hours later, you’re walking the aisle. The red carpet beneath your feet is worn and threadbare in a comforting way, like a child’s blanket. It’s going to be alright, you tell yourself. It has to be. Please let this be alright.
One step forward. Another and another. Not headed towards your true love maybe but headed to the future. Every second stretched by until you now stand before him. Until death do you part.
“I do.”
–
Although you might find this strange to hear and almost a relief that it’s not your reality, for many it still is. 39,000 girls every year experience underage marriage despite it’s illegality in many countries.
There are many different reasons for this occurrence; mainly cultural background and tradition. Girls as young as five are betrothed to men many years older than them and have little to no say in what will become their future.
**The photos included in this article were staged by a Norwegian girl in a fake, publicly planned wedding to raise awareness on the issue. These photos were included as to not point fingers at specific cultures in which underage marriages are more common.**
Images courtesy of: http://boredsloth.com/little-girl-married-in-norway