Earlier today in Brad Hersfeld, Germany, an unknown number of thieves quite successfully pulled of a great heist and made off with five metric tonnes of diamonds,money, Lil Wayne records! Nutella worth $20,000!! (CBC). Now it must be said, I am quite partial to the wonderful gooey stuff and several afternoons have been spent watching Scooby Doo re runs while stuffing my face with it but I am rather mind boggled as to why anyone would make a concerted effort to steal NUTELLA??? It’s like spending days and nights canvassing your local Walmart and pulling your sleekest best (a la Italian Job) to finally make it out with the grand prize of chewing gum which you then find out has been decaying and will be inedible in a year..
However, after some thought, I came up with some ideas as to why the Nutella was stolen:
- Eco Terrorists got confused: All these fancy names and colours prevalent in Chemistry; it can be daunting to us mere mortals. In the quest for Liquid Nitrogen/_________(whatever your superior Chemist brain tells you could be used as a bio-weapon), the maligned henchman got frustrated/confused and picked the wrong truck or the wrong kind of stuff.
- A sewage – maintenance officer mistook his batch and took the wrong truck??
- A bunch of stoners had a serious case of the munchies?
- Or, the most likely scenario, The German government took it themselves to make the Italians look bad? I can’t go into specifics at the moment but as soon as I escape Hans and his handymen, I will update you on this.
Ciao!
