Kim Jong Un: Rise of the “Un-Cut”

Exactly eight days ago, Alberta Premier Alison Redford resigned. Broadcasted on many Canadian television channels and billed as a “major announcement from the premier,” Redford officially announced that she would, as of the evening of March 23, officially resign as premier. Albertans and Canadians have been engaging in talks regarding national politics this week, discussing whether the move was “called for” or “uncalled for.” Canada has been receiving a lot of press regarding politics lately, ranging from the “Senate Scandal,” to “Rob Ford,” to “The Resignation.” However, things are really not as bad as they may seem, if we take the time to compare our scenarios to the latest development in North Korea.

The Kim Jong Un era in North Korea has reached a new milestone, with the announcement today that North Korea has tightened its clamps regarding haircuts. Yes, Kim Jong Un previously had enforced laws which only allowed North Koreans to have certain haircuts. 28 approved “dos” were released to the public about one month ago, with 10 for men and 18 for women. Haircuts that were not sanctioned would absolutely be punishable by law, with barbers being warned not to deviate from these rules, with the risk of severe punishment.

Officially announced today, all university students in North Korea must all have the “Kim Jong Un” haircut. With “Un-cuts” currently only being made mandatory for university students, much can change over the course of the next few days. As we have seen in the past month, Kim Jong Un seems to be prioritizing protein follicles over 95 per cent of the state’s issues. Two weeks ago, Radio Free Asia reported that this state-sanctioned law was brought to the capital of North Korea, Pyongyang. Now, the government (made up of Kim Jong Un, and, well, that’s it…) has enforced this law all across the nation. Male university students all around North Korea must have the same bowl cut as their dictatorial leader.

Citizens of North Korea, especially the students to which this law applies to, are not exactly impressed, as the haircut is largely disapproved by the population. The cut was referred to as the “Chinese smuggler haircut” until the 2000s in North Korea, as reported by the Korea Times. Largely unpopular because of the connection to a Chinese smuggler, it definitely is more popular than it was before. Or at least that is what Kim Jong Un is made to believe. Now, Kim Jong Un may be able to get closer to cloning than modern day technology, which most recently discovered how the earth was created and the whereabouts of a massive plane that went missing on March 8. While it is still unclear what the policy for males who are not university students are, whether they still have the choice of their ten cuts of terror, or whether a new rule is being implemented, females will still have 18 cuts to choose from.

As of Wednesday night, only university students are required to get the “Un” done; however, with Kim Jong Un, things change in a hurry. Similarly to his desire for candy and chocolate, we don’t know if he’ll want something else by tomorrow.