Joannie Rochette: Losing Those We Love

I think many would agree that watching Joannie Rochette skate beautifully and win a bronze medal was one of the most inspirational moments of the Olympics.  Rochette was stunned by her mother’s sudden death only days before she was set to compete in women’s figure skating.  Full of courage and strength, she decided to still compete.  To me, the beauty of her performances was that she was no longer skating for the crowd, a good score, or a spot on the podium – she was skating for her mom.  That she was able to win a medal and inspire a nation was just an added bonus.  But Joannie’s difficult journey doesn’t end here.  With her competition behind her, Joannie will finally have time and space to grieve for her mom.

As we experience grief in our own lives, many people will want to be strong like Joannie Rochette.  But if you saw Joannie after she finished skating her short program, her pain was very evident.  Let’s face it, grief is hard.  The loss of a close loved one naturally hurts us deeply, but other things like losing contact with a friend or having a pet die are also very difficult to deal with.  Whether you realize it or not, even graduating from high school and turning eighteen can be a grieving process as you leave behind your childhood.

Remember that grief is a process, not an event.  There is no definite ending point to grief and no time limit.  So don’t try to rush grieving.  Although everyone will grieve differently, it is perfectly normal to cycle through the different stages of grief: shock/denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.  Not everyone will experience all these stages, or in this order, but this model gives a sense of the complexity of grieving.

Even if it is tempting to bottle up your feelings and ‘move on’, it is not usually the healthiest thing to do.  It will help to talk about your loss and take time to feel the sadness. Over time, it will get better.  If you ever feel overwhelmed by grief, feel free to call the Teen Line at 403-264-8336, we are here to talk!