Self Insecurity Story & Poem

At times we all feel afraid, we all put up a facade hoping others might not really recognize who we are. Afraid to be hated on? Afraid to be lonelier than we already are? We put up walls, and plaster them with posters of lies. So no one can really know who we are right? Because yes we are all afraid of being hated, we are all afraid of not being liked.

I admit so am I. Till today I put up a facade hoping no one will see the real me because yes I am scared, horrified actually of the results. Results of what? Results in decrease of status when people know the real me? Or horrified of the reaction I will receive when someone finds out how different I am? I am just another teenager who doesn’t want to lose my status of being normal when in reality I may just be the weirdest person you will ever meet. But today I am sharing a part of my story.

I am just like every other girl in the world who goes to school and sits at a specific lunch table aspiring to find someone to love me. Yes, I am insecure but I am learning how to be confident. It isn’t an over night miracle, it is the little insignificant accomplishments and happiness in life we over look. Yes, at times I do pretend to be someone I’m not because I’m scared of what others will think. Yes, I refrain myself from opening up my big mouth because I am worried about being judged. I am just a girl craving a friend who can see me for who I really am. We all crave someone to open up to because I guarantee you we all hide behind a wall we have created for ourselves.

Here is a poem that caught my eye and touched my soul. I couldn’t keep this from all of you, it was too important to share. Because whether we are willing to admit it or not we are all insecure. So here is too all the shy, outgoing, weird, crazy,  and fabulous people out there! Don’t be afraid to be yourself, you are made perfect just the way you are. <3

Paint Brush
By Bettie B. Youngs
From The Chicken Soup Book

I keep my paint brush with me
Wherever I may go,
In case I need to cover up
So the real me doesn’t show.
I’m so afraid to show you me,
Afraid of you’ll do – that
You might laugh or say mean things.
I’m afraid I might lose you.

I’d like to remove all my paint coats
To show you the real, true me,
But I want you to try and understand,
I need you to accept what you see.
So if you’ll be patient and close your eyes,
I’ll strip off all my coats real slow.
Please understand how much it hurts
To let the real me show.

Now all my coats are stripped off.
I feel naked, bare, and cold,
And if you still love me with all that you see,
You are my friend, pure as gold.
I need to save my paintbrush, though,
And hold it in my hand,
I want to keep it handy
In case somebody doesn’t understand.
So please protect me, my dear friend
And thanks for loving me true,
But please let me keep my paint brush with me
Until I love me too.