How do you feel when you see a homeless person?
Speaking from personal experience, I have to admit that I feel uncomfortable. However, I know that I shouldn’t feel that way. It’s something that I’m continually working to overcome. The first step is identifying how I honestly feel, so that I can figure out what I can do to change that. Through volunteering and discussing this topic with other people, I have been able to become more open-minded and compassionate. Yet, I feel like there’s still a long journey ahead of me before I can truthfully say that I’m completely comfortable around homeless individuals, but I know I’m taking steps in the right direction. Hopefully you’ll be able to relate how I feel.
Why do I feel uncomfortable?
(Original Image – Courtesy of Jim Fischer)
Part of the reason is because growing up, my parents have taught me to just avoid homeless people. If they ask if you have any money, just give them a polite “No, sorry” and keep walking. Even nowadays, almost every time before I go downtown by myself, my parents will remind me of this. Do I listen to them? Not always. I recognize that I am able to make my own decisions now and one of those decisions is helping others when I can. It gets a lot more complicated than that though.
“Don’t talk to strangers.” Isn’t that what we were taught as a kid? I think we were taught that for good reasons. It’s true that one should be cautious when chatting with strangers because you can never know what their true intentions are. Whether a person is homelessness or not, it’s important to use discretion when interacting with strangers. Sometimes you just get the wrong vibe or you feel that something’s off. It may be their body language, their tone of voice or what they’re asking for. They’re all signs that maybe it’s not such a smart idea to keep talking to them.
So, I do understand where my parents are coming from. They’re afraid that if I pull out my wallet to give money, the person can just yank it from my hands and run away with it. Or if I try to resist, they’ll put up a fight because they’re desperate. While I don’t completely agree, I can understand their concern, especially since I’m their child and they’re not there to protect me. It would be a lie for me to say that they don’t want to help people in-need. However, their mindset is that there’s a time and a place. To some extent, I have to agree.
Is giving money a good idea?
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I’ve been told that I have too soft of a heart. If someone asks for help, my first instinct is to do so. One time I was walking downtown with my parents and I was a good ways ahead of them. A teenager came up to me and asked me for some spare change so she could buy a transit ticket. Without hesitating at all, I handed her some cash. She thanked me and headed on her way. I was feeling like a good Samaritan until my parents caught up to me and asked me why I gave her money. In the heat of the moment, I hadn’t realized that she had been smoking. They made me realize, what if she had just been lying and that money was going towards another cigarette?
It made me wonder, where does my money go after I give it someone? It’s unfair to make the assumption that all homeless people deal with alcoholism or substance abuse, because that’s simply not true. At the same time, isn’t it a bad thing that I’m possibly fueling their addiction? I think that’s the wrong way to look at it. Even if the money goes towards them getting their next fix, it’s better than cutting them off of it completely, especially if it’s something their body has become accustomed to. They could face dangerous withdrawal symptoms. Giving them money will help them last a few more days and hopefully someone can come into their lives and help them get back on a better track.
Besides, I can imagine it already takes a heavy emotional toll on people who resort to panhandling. It’s degrading as a human. I try to put myself in their shoes and usually that’s enough to push me to help. What if I was in their position asking for money? How would I feel if people simply just walked by, ignoring my existence? How many other people have refused them today when they could’ve helped? Still, there are times when I make up excuses in my mind: I “need” the money or someone else will give them some cash. When I do end up walking past a homeless person without helping, I feel overwhelmed with guilt. This leads me to my next point: privilege.
I am Privileged
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The other reason I feel uncomfortable is because I become aware of the privilege that I have. Ever since I participated in the Privilege Project, I’ve been reflecting on what privilege actually means and how much of it that I have. When I see a homeless person, I become acutely aware of myself – the clothes I’m wearing, the food I get to eat, the phone in my pocket. It makes me feel uncomfortable because I have so much while they have so little. I feel almost obligated to help them, otherwise in my mind, I’m a bad person. If I can wear nice clothes, have a safe home to go back to and own a phone that cost hundreds of dollars, surely I can spare some change, right?
Privilege is automatically being in a better situation compared to someone else the very moment I entered into this world. I am privileged to have loving parents who look out for my best interests. I am privileged to grow up in a safe and stable environment. I am privileged to have food on the table when I come home. I am privileged to have the opportunity to get an education. I could spend all day counting my blessings, but that doesn’t change the fact that other people are born into a worse situation than I am. They didn’t have a choice. They had a rough gravel road while I had a smooth paved path.
It’s unfair to say that homeless people put themselves into that situation. If I was born into a low-income family, grew up in a volatile home environment and had to battle with a mental or physical illnesses, the odds would be stacked against me. It’s easy for those who don’t know they’re privileged to say: if you would stop being so lazy, you wouldn’t be in this hole. It’s easy to shield ourselves by pretending that they’re not there or that they deserved it. Maybe because the truth can be too uncomfortable to accept. When all of those self-created layers of protection are shattered, when the comfortable distance between the fortunate and not-so-fortunate disappears, all that’s left are two humans – one who got lucky in the lottery of life, and the other who got dealt a bad hand.
Having the Right Mindset
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So I know I feel uncomfortable when I see a homeless person, how should I approach this? Empathy. Homeless individuals are good people who have bad things happen to them. I sincerely believe in that. No one grows up and says, “I want to be homeless.” They are kind souls who have to suffer the slings and arrows of life. It’s not just an individual’s upbringing that is out of their control, but also the curve balls that life throws at them later on too.
For example, I remember chatting with one man who explained to me that he had lost his home to the devastating 2013 Alberta flood. He had been living a perfectly normal life, but disaster struck and now he was leaving out on the streets. Up until then, I hadn’t fully realized how your life can change just like that. I could just as easily be in their situation if enough bad luck happened to me. It’s a real possibility that I could end up homeless too for whatever reason in the future. If that happens, then I would others to be compassionate towards me.
My privilege is a debt that I have to pay off. If I have been fortunate enough to have all this privilege, then it’s only fair that I have to return it in some way. Although I may feel uncomfortable when I see someone with less than I have, it should be a reminder that I have a duty to help them live a better life as well. This means that I can still enjoy the benefits that life has given me, as long as I am paying it forward. I may not be able to help every individual I see on the streets, but I can tackle the broader issue of homelessness in many other ways and so can you.
How You Can Help
Volunteer. It’s the biggest way that we can help, especially for youth who may not necessarily have the money, but do have the time. Furthermore, I personally find I’m much more comfortable in a volunteering environment. We’re in a secure facility that’s monitored by staff and there’s a structure to the services that that volunteers are providing. This environment allows for easier interaction with homeless people and actually getting to know them, whereas it may be intimidating to approach someone on the streets.
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One of my memorable experiences was volunteering with Inn from the Cold at their St. Stephen’s location, which offers emergency family shelter every night. We helped set up cots with blankets and pillows as well as a number of tables for dinnertime. After food was served, we were encouraged to sit down and have dinner with them. It was the first time I really had an opportunity to have a conversation. However, what surprised me is that we didn’t talk about homelessness, we just talked about everyday things.
It made me realize that homelessness is just a condition they’re in, it doesn’t define who they are as a unique individual. I remember one talkative individual explaining his love for geology and the TV series The Big Bang Theory. I chatted with another man and asked him about where he came from and what languages he could speak. Later on, a husband and wife joined our table and we all had a discussion about the recently elected NDP government in Alberta. The fact that the conversations were so ordinary is what made my experience memorable. It allowed me to see the human underneath, each person with their own interests, dreams and stories.
(More information about volunteering with Inn from the Cold)
Serving Food
Two other organizations I’ve had the opportunity to volunteer with is the Mustard Seed and the Salvation Army. With both organizations, I’ve helped with serving meals for those in need. The reason I love doing these projects in particular is that you can see the impact. When you hand a hot plate of food to someone, seeing their smile and hearing their “Thank you” means a lot. It makes you feel like that you’re actually making a difference.
Below is a picture from the dining area at Center of Hope location for the Salvation Army. I think Mother Teresa puts into words the importance of helping the homeless and the philosophy of volunteering better than I ever could.
Your Own Way of Helping
Although volunteering is a great way to help, it’s certainly not the only way. If homelessness is an issue you’re passionate about changing, there’s many ways to help directly and indirectly. Get educated about what the causes of homelessness are. Instead of giving money to someone who’s hungry and worry about where the money might be going, you could use that money to buy them food directly. Donate clothing, toiletries and other items that you don’t need. At the end of the day, you’re only limited by your creativity.
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To end off, I’d like you to leave you with the inspiring example of Stephen’s Backpacks. Stephen McPhee was 5 years old when he encountered homelessness for the first time. His parents were reading an article about a homeless man on a newspaper when he asked: “Are there kids on the street Mommy?” In response, she said, “Yes, Stephen unfortunately there are children without homes.” Without even thinking, he said, “Mommy, I need to help them!” So he did. In Decemeber 2006, with the help of his parents, they donated 15 backpacks to Inn from the Cold. They were filled with toiletries, school supplies, toys and much more.
(For the full story, click here)
This small idea blossomed into an organization that partners with other corporations and schools to tackle homelessness. Some of their projects include Stephen’s Backpacks, which is gathering backpacks and supplies to donate to homeless children. Footprints, where running shoes are donated to kids in need. In addition, Stephen’s mother has even published two books, Dreams Out Loud and On Eagle’s Wings, which details how their family’s life has changed ever since that fateful day. In short, the story of Stephen shows how everybody has the ability to help, including you and I.
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If you haven’t done so already, please check out Part 1 where I explored my experience volunteering at the Drop-In Center. A personal thank you for all the positive feedback I’ve been receiving. I wish I knew all of the organizations in Calgary that work to fight homelessness, but I unfortunately don’t. However, I do want to thank you for all the work that each of them are doing because every little bit counts.
As Margaret Mead said, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.“