If you haven’t played Flappy Bird yet, then I have one piece of advice:
DO NOT PLAY THIS GAME.
Flappy Bird is an app created by Dong Nguyen. The game itself consists of a bird (although it looks more like a mix between a chicken nugget and a fish) that you tap the screen in order to make it fly through terrifying green pipes.
Simple, right?
NO.
This game has been the bane of my existence since I first downloaded it. This game and the fact that my fake nails render me useless whenever I try to type/write/pick things up (update to follow in a week) make me want to cry. But even before I had tiny pieces of plastic glued to my nails, this game made me want to cry. Economically speaking, its genius. A worldwide seller, Dong Nguyen is probably rolling in cash due to the money he makes off of the ads that periodically pop up and what Apple pays him.
Good job, Dong. Your wealth comes from making young adults cry of frustration. But this game – it’s such a simple concept! Get the bird through the tube. Tap to make it move. But then why is it so hard?
And what makes it so damn addicting?
I tried talking to a few of my classmates about the addiction, and their answers are down below. Please note that before you read on there are a few things you should know:
1. Key word here is “tried.” I almost got punched for it too.
2. The dialogue below is exact. No paraphrasing, nothing added for the sake of dramatic effect or comedy – these are real reactions.
David
Me: How long have you been playing?
David: About an hour or so. My thumbs are getting tired.
M: And what’s your high score?
(At this point he lets out a small grunt of disappointment)
D: Six.
(Note that he was playing Flappy Bird the entire time)
M: Why do you think it’s so add-
(Screams of frustration followed by him exiting the app)
D: Sorry. I died. Almost beat my high score though.
(Opens app)
Deanna
(Silently watching her play)
Me: Maybe you should put the phone down (I said this jokingly)
(Glares at me and moves to the other side of the room)
At this point I cross the room and reach for her phone, and this is where I almost got punched.
Deanna: DO NOT TOUCH ME IF I DIE BECAUSE OF YOU I SWEAR I WILL BURN DOWN YOUR CROPS.
She tried to push my hand away, missed, and almost punched me in the neck.
My Dad
No commentary here. Just imagine the agonized cries of a dying whale coming from a 40-year-old man.
I realize that Flappy Bird is probably so addictive because how can a tiny bird nugget make one feel so inferior? We may never know.
But what I do know? My high score is 52 and I am dead set on beating it.
*Names have been changed to protect privacy