As we wind down to the end of the school year (collective cheer), it’s a great time to really look back at this past year and reflect. What are things that you were really happy about? What were things that didn’t really go your way? What things did you do really well? What do you want to improve on?
But if you’re like me, you’ve probably done alot of terrible, awkward, and terribly awkward things that you just really want to just forget. However, despite that, at least try to turn those into learning experiences.
And perhaps you’re thinking “Isn’t it bad to constantly revisit your past and dwell on it?”
Dwelling on your past is about becoming stuck in mistakes that you can’t change. It’s about letting yourself live in the unchangeable, and wishing that you could have done something differently. It’s holding yourself back from moving on.
But reflection and acceptance, on the other hand, are about using your past to make your future better. Rather than crying over closed doors and missed opportunities, it’s about opening new doors.
For example, a few weeks ago, I had a pretty terrible orchestra audition. I can’t exactly pinpoint it to one specific factor, but I guess I wasn’t fully prepared, I was super nervous, and not to mention that the audition room was boiling hot.
(although in hindsight, part of me being so terrified about that audition was that they’re recorded, and apparently I tend to make this face if I’m playing out of tune:)
So I went home after that audition feeling so mortified, and dejected, that I just wanted to curl up into a ball and forget it ever happened. Change my name, move to Hawaii, and just accept my fate as a terrible violin player.
But at one point, I had to get up and face my failure. Because although it’s not healthy to constantly revisit your past and let it define you, it’s also unhealthy to completely ignore it. Reflecting on past mistakes and blunders is how anyone can improve. Why do you think we teach history in schools? As to not make the same mistakes.
And I got up, brushed off my dignity, and had to acknowledge that it happened, and it didn’t go according to planned, but that was okay. And I’m pretty happy that I did, because after I told my violin teacher about what happened at the audition, she actually told me that there was a possibility of doing a late audition in September, giving me more time to practice, and a second chance. If I hadn’t acknowledged my failure, if I had just ignored it, I would have let this unknown opportunity completely go to waste.
And now that I’ve had that experience of a terrible audition, I know that I have to work harder in the future to make sure that this doesn’t happen again. This absolutely mortifying experience is a learning opportunity.
So in conclusion, don’t dwell in your past. Don’t let it hold you down. Reflect on it, accept it, and let yourself go even higher.
