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I’ll be honest: I’m really jealous of people who can take constructive criticism easily. I struggle with the thought of being less than great, which is hard considering the school system is built on the idea that you will gradually improve and get better with every word you hear, say and write. It’s a hard concept to wrap around regarding the fact that even now, I am not at my best. I blame my weakness to criticism in part to my ego, which is most prominent when it comes to the things I do best at: writing and band.
Over the years, I’ve grown comfortable with the idea that I do exceptionally well regarding these categories. I’ve earned a lot of praise, feeding my ego further, and while it’s given me the self confidence I need, it’s helped my ego become an ugly monster that won’t settle for anything less than satisfactory. In the past, I think it’s given off the wrong impression of me. I used to be kind of shy, and if you add in my slight ego, I could be perceived as a snob which didn’t do me any good (and I promise as much as it may seem like at times, I am not a snob!).
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For a while now, whenever I receive constructive criticism it’s been pretty hard. This seems crazy from a girl who writes (and risks being critiqued for grammar) and plays in a band (who constantly receives feedback on everything from articulation to quality of sound). You may as well say I asked for it, because I suppose I did but in truth, this forces me to face my mistakes; to correct myself and take that critique like a champ.
Whenever I used to consider the criticism I received, my throat would close up and I’d feel uneasy, which is a bit dramatic but nonetheless true. I’d feel like all my confidence was washed away like chalk on the sidewalk after a rainstorm. Criticism would leave me feeling more unfulfilled than anything, and soon I grew tired of the same shakiness and empty feeling in my stomach. I forced myself to accept that a) I had a bit of an ego b) that ego was affecting me in more bad ways than good and c) I wasn’t the only one with one. Realizing I wasn’t alone with my ego and uncontrollable distaste for criticism was a turning point, and I’m happy to be feeling better when it comes to constructive criticism but I know others continually struggle with it, which is why I have some tips for kicking that ego monster in the knees and coming to grips with your evaluations.
Take a Moment for Yourself
This moment can be anything for you. A moment to reflect, a moment to relax or even a moment to think of what this piece of advice means to you. Is it worth something getting upset over? Is it something that’s key to the success of whatever you’re working towards? It’s easy to get caught up in the moment and lose yourself over something small, so next time before you overthink it, be sure to have a moment to yourself and relax, breathe, and carry on.
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Examine the Feedback
Remember that there is certain feedback you should follow and some that isn’t required to incorporate. While I highly recommend doing what your teachers tell you to do, sometimes the advice given just doesn’t seem to fit what you’re working towards, and if you really don’t think you’re seeing eye to eye with those giving you criticism, talk about it and find some common ground, although it is important to remember that 9 times out of 10, they just want to see you succeed so don’t crush them by throwing their ideas out the window! Communication is key!
Say Thank You
It’s always considerate to thank those who are critiquing you. They took the time to see over your work, so it’s only nice to thank them in return. Show how much you care that they took the time to do this for you with a simple gesture of gratitude.
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Go Back to the Drawing Board
Often times the 1st draft isn’t the best, so don’t be discouraged if you find you have some things to correct. Throughout life, there are so many examples of trial and error and this is one of them. Go back to work knowing that this product will be even bigger and better than the last, and that it only goes up from there.
School is pretty stressful and dealing with criticism can be tough for some people, even when it seems like a walk in the park to others. Remember that you’re doing your best and that everything you create is a masterpiece. Never feel less than adequate, because anything less is a bold lie and always remember that you’re mental health comes first before anything else.