So the last couple of weeks haven’t been my best. Between loads of homework, tests, extracurriculars, and, well, life, I’ve been feeling extremely overloaded, and I just haven’t been doing the best I could.
Specifically, a couple weeks ago, I had a debate tournament (regionals), and a piano recital on the same day. On top of that, I had three projects to finish for school on Monday, and homework in two other subjects. Being preoccupied with all this homework (I ended up having to do homework in between debate rounds), I performed poorly in both the tournament (lost two rounds, only winning one) and the recital (my piano piece was bland, honestly, and it really just didn’t go the way I wanted it.)
And right now, it does feel really hard to pick myself up again and try again, when I feel like another try is just gonna turn out being another failure. But as I was lying in bed one night, I thought of something. Is it truly a failure? Or is it an opportunity to make a greater comeback next time?
I immediately thought back to my first time performing at the Calgary Performing Arts Festival (formerly known as Kiwanis). To give you a little background, CPAF, is an annual festival in Calgary, where you get to perform (music, speech, drama, etc) in different classes, which are generally based on age, or level and style/composer. You receive adjudication from adjudicators coming from all across Canada, and there is a “winner”, who receives a gold certificate, and a “scholarship” (in higher levels), and there’s a “second place”, who gets a red certificate.
So this is a terribly embarrassing story, but basically, a few years ago, I decided that I would try CPAF. I entered in one class for piano, and I started prepping, you know, practicing, memorizing, etc.
Fast forward a few months, and it was the day of the performance. I was definitely nervous, but I felt like I was going to be fine. (Spoiler alert, I was not.)
I got to the venue, and that’s when I started to realize how badly I screwed up, before I even started to think about playing my piece (which, by the way, also did not go well). First red flag : CPAF is a formal event, so everyone was in dresses, dress shirts, nice shoes, etc… I, unfortunately, did not get the memo. I showed up in jeans, and uggs. Purple freaking uggs (I clearly was a very confused child). I’ll let you absorb that for a moment.
Second red flag : I did not bring my music. I did not know you were supposed to bring your music (so that the adjudicator can see what you’re supposed be playing), and I assumed that since I had memorized my piece, I didn’t need it.
So I hadn’t even started playing, and already, I knew that I had failed. I got to the piano, extremely nervous, stumbled through my piece way too quickly, and tried to leave before I embarrassed myself any further.
Needless to say, that class did not go well. I believe I got a “good” marking, which is like, 75% ish, aka, not the mark I really wanted to get.
So for the few months after that, I kinda hated myself and the piano, because even as embarrassing and awkward as I am, that was definitely one of my worse moments.
Fast forward half a year-ish, and registration was open for CPAF again. And despite the horrible embarrassment I had faced the year before, I decided to go for it again. I registered for two classes, both solo piano. I’m not sure what I was thinking. Perhaps I wanted to avenge my defeat. But I went back.
This time, I was prepared. I had practiced, got all my music ready, was wearing nice clothes, and I felt completely ready to take on CPAF for the second time. And after my two classes, I came home with a red certificate, and a gold, along with a 100$ scholarship. Not bad for someone who completely failed the year before.
So, in retrospect, that debate tournament, and that piano recital, were not failures at all. They were all chances. A chance to improve, and amaze everyone at debate next year. A chance to practice and get better and to wow everyone at my next piano recital. All prologues to my inevitable, epic comeback.
