As new doors open in one’s life some doors musts be closed in their past.
Almost nine months ago it came to my attention that I needed to leave the sport that had been my life for 10 years. Figure skating was a demanding sport that took around 25 hours a week of training on and off the ice but was something I was passionate about. The decision was the hardest I had ever made and I was making it alone. Many people, when put under pressure, blame others around them for their poor decisions but in my case it was all up to me. I have to admit my circumstances were anything but fair, but when it came down to the yes or no choice I was on my own.
The year leading up to quitting:
Injury:
The most important competition of the year in early November 2014 went better than I could imagine. I finally had my spunk back and felt like I was improving after my year and a half plateau. Although I wasn’t at the top yet I was nearing it. Then my circumstances shifted during my post competitive season when I fractured my growth plate in my right ankle, on my landing leg. I was casted for six weeks and underwent a good two months of rehabilitation before I was 100% back. Even then I had pain in my ankle caused from the weakening of the muscles and the placement of the fracture. Late February 2015 preparation for my first competition of the season was beginning and all of my motivation was lost. Psychologically I was changed by the injury. While others improved over my recovery I was not only in a standstill but slowly going backwards because of the effects of the injury. Nothing changes an athlete quite like an injury. I doubted myself more and more as the competition approached and felt nowhere near ready to compete.
Unlikely circumstances:
As March wrapped up I received news that inevitably pushed me over the edge of my decision. My father lost his job and with the state of Calgary and the recession it was in I knew finding another job would be difficult. The reality of the sport was the price everything cost. Figure skating is most likely one of the most increasingly expensive competitive sports. I knew I would eventually have to leave if my family’s circumstances didn’t change. However, nobody pressured me into my decision when the time came.
The final decision:
The first competition of the season had arrived and although my nerves had been tackled there was no doubt I was unprepared. My run-throughs were full of errors and in competition anything that can go wrong will go wrong with the added pressure. The competition went more poorly than I could imagine. I scored worse than I had before. Rather than being discouraged by the reality I was inspired to have a turning point and change the path I was on. That night I created a new plan on how I could improve and explained how excited I was to start training again to my parents. The next morning on my way to the rink without any pressure, people, or even doubt, I decided I would be quitting that day. It wasn’t a matter of my circumstances, I had finally come to accept my reality. I needed to put my focus on school and I knew I couldn’t continue having the grades I wanted, have a job on the weekend and continue improving from where I was in my sport. My time had come and even though to this day I regret leaving, I am glad it happened because I don’t know if I would have had the strength to continue.
Sarah
