Alberta Ballet presented another awe-worthy show, Dynamic Directions, at the Jubilee this past weekend. The show was choreographed by three Western artists: Aszure Barton, Wen Wei Wang and Yukichi Hattori who each, individually, established a beautiful story through each of their pieces.
The calibre of the show met one of excellency, from the lights and staging to the execution of choreography; everything was seamless. The entire production consisted of three stories, one from each choreographer. The brilliancy and fluidity of the story-telling through contemporary ballet exceeded all expectations. However, what was truly jaw-dropping to see was the grace and control of body that the dancers had enabling them to tell such intricate stories so simply to the audience.
As a young girl, dance heavily influenced my life. Many hours were spent in the studio rehearsing and even more at home practicing routines. All of those hours spent for one adrenaline rush on stage that made all the blood and sweat shed worth it. Watching Dynamic Directions brought me back to the time where my life was immersed in two things: dance and ringette.
Watching the perfection in each movement of the arm or twitch in the leg took me back to the hours around dawn spent rehearsing choreography until there was no evidence of the night. The synchronization of the entire group of dancers touched me as reminder of the family bonding each production had presented as an opportunity before me. And, the chemistry between the dancers evoked a great sense of nostalgia within my being.
I left the studio a few years back in aim to widen my horizons and branch out to explore and experience what I felt deprived of. I wanted to make friends and spend time with them. Actually have the opportunity to maintain relationships and have a life outside of dance and ringette. Unfortunately, this only led to over-committing to all opportunities I was presented with. I over-worked myself in aim to experience everything regardless of if I was passionate towards it or not. I guess I just wanted to make up for lost time. I obtained the fear of missing out, also known as FOMO.
However, this turned into a weakness very quickly. While dance set a sense of structure and focus in my life without it I was performing at a 50% level while investing my time in tasks that did not hold my significance in my life. An example of this would be volleyball. On a whim I decided to try-out for the team, when I made it, I realized it wasn’t the sport for me nor the environment I could flourish within. Regardless I stuck with it forcing myself to endure not only the failure but the insulting commentary coming from the bench. I was discouraged, directionless, and more importantly very insecure. I had transformed into a people pleaser, committing to different activities to satisfy others rather than myself.
Till today, I am still that way. Pleasing people. And for the longest time I had pleasing people confused with working for the betterment of others. Those are two completely different things and the sooner one realizes that, the easier it is to find one’s path back. My path back to dance starts here, after years of repetitive cycles of being taken advantage of and over-working myself, I am going home to where my roots had originated. I am going to dance again. And maybe just maybe, I will find peace in music and direction and purpose in the movement of my body.
