I began writing for Youth Are Awesome in 2013, when I was in the ninth grade. Now, I’m close to wrapping up my second year of University and will be turning 20 soon. This is the story of my YAA journey and beyond.
When I walked into my first YAA meeting, I had no idea the impact that the program would have on me and how it would continue to influence my life, even after I graduated and moved away. As far as I was concerned, I was a dorky junior high kid looking for some volunteer hours and YAA really fit what I was looking for. I got to write on whatever I wanted and knew that somewhere out there, someone would read my words and maybe, just maybe, they might be touched or influenced by what I had to say.
My attitude didn’t much change until late 2014, when I successfully applied for a Junior Editor position. It gave me a sense of responsibility and leadership where I felt that what I had to say was valued, an experience that I did not have much of as the social outcast that I had been in other parts of my life. Even though YAA was a fairly minor commitment compared to what I had going on everywhere else, moving to a Junior Editor position at the same time that I was settling into high school proved to be a major turning point.
Not only was more expected of me, but I was also being exposed to more and more amazing people all the time and felt like my accomplishments needed to be just as fantastic as theirs. This may not have been the healthiest or fairest way to look at the people surrounding me, but as someone who had a difficult time making friends and had very little external validation, my feelings of inadequacy were very real. I wasn’t good enough until I did something that stacked up to what the accomplishments of the people who I perceived as being ahead of me in life, even though it wasn’t a competition. This wasn’t the best or healthiest motivation, but I used it and I ran with it anyway.
Over the course of the next three years, fueled by the idea that if I didn’t do enough, I wasn’t enough, I worked tirelessly to prove to myself that I was deserving of being in the same league as the friends I admired. This resulted in countless experiences that I will cherish forever, from travelling to Edmonton to cover the Duke of Edinburgh Awards, to interviewing alumni for Youth Central’s 25th Anniversary and learning about the great things that they are up to now, to picnicking with the YAA crew in Prince’s Island Park to wrap up the 2016-2017 year. I slowly began to see my own accomplishments and successes for what they were: fantastic things that I deserved credit for regardless of what everyone else around me was doing. I was forging my own path and learning to be okay with the idea that even though I wasn’t doing the same things as everyone else, my experiences and my achievements were valid and worthy of recognition.
These experiences defined my time at YAA and helped me to define the kind of person that I wanted to be: a strong leader, a dependable colleague, and above all, a loyal friend. Slowly but surely, my confidence and involvement both within YAA and elsewhere grew, and before I knew it, I had been admitted into my dream University program, complete with several scholarships to sweeten the deal. If it hadn’t been for my time with YAA, I don’t think that I would have had the confidence let alone the qualifications to apply for the awards that are allowing me to complete my degree debt-free (so far).
Since I’ve moved away and moved on, slowly transitioning into adulthood, I’ve never forgotten the value that YAA brought to my life. Not only am I a better writer, a skill that serves me well in academia, but I am also a better person with a stronger sense of community. Although it’s still hard for me to resist comparing myself to my peers, I’m working on it and I’m getting better at recognizing my efforts as valid. Even though I’ve got my head buried in a textbook most of the time now, I’m also working as a Resident Assistant, volleyball referee, and keeping my hand in volunteering by tutoring once a week. It isn’t much, but it’s enough.
YAA was instrumental in helping me to learn who I am and who I want to be. I can only hope that every blogger, past, present, and future, can walk away having had as positive an experience and as many lasting friendships as I did.