Roses, subtle pecks on the cheek, holding the door, talking over coffee, love letters, saying goodnight over the phone, waking up to a cute good-morning text. All simple acts of romanticism that have been reduced to relationships established within the corridors of instant messaging.
As a generation, and I’m sorry for generalizing, but both males and females are losing the sense of beauty withheld in truly having a romantic relationship. One in which, restraint and respect holds greater importance over lust and impulsiveness. A relationship that requires commitment and care over impatience and selfishness. We opt out for the text over the phone call, subtle and meaningful forehead kisses for make-out sessions, and deep conversations over coffee for “Netflix and chill.”
We’ve become lazy. Lazy to get to know one another for who we are, rather than who we want each other to be. Infatuation towards the illusionary world of perfection we’ve created overpowers the beauty of reality, the beauty of simplicity. The simple love in actions like holding the door for one another or calling each other to say goodnight are no longer significant. Simple actions of reaffirmation to build trust, no longer exist. Instead, “late night hotline bling” resonates with the impulsiveness of our generation, whereas promises and chivalry are now only excuses or artificial gateways into the heart to make one’s lust evident.
By no means do I mean to complain or whine but a girl can only dream. Dream of what she has grown up watching in the movies. Dream of the simplicity of straightforward conversation in comparison to convoluted double-meaning text messages. No one wants to spend time debating in their minds whether or not “he/she was serious” or “what said he/she really meant.” Yet we all fall for it and allow for mediocre relationships to take hold of the drivers seat, to only drive us off the many cliffs of hell and torment superficiality carries with it.
But how do we fix this? How do we ensure our relationships are honest?
Simply, be willing to have a real conversation. Connecting through eye contact. Look past the surface and into one’s heart. Listen to the words that your significant other is speaking. Embrace them and love them.
There is a different kind of intoxication that comes with gazing into another eyes, an intimate way of appreciating their being. An appreciation that is suffering the possibility of extinction, for people spend more time staring at their phones than into another’s eyes. Have you ever felt a sense of serenity wash over you after a deep conversation about life, where your eyes spoke a million more words than your mouth could ever fathom?
Have you ever fallen in love with someone’s mind? The way they think and articulate. The expressions on their face during a time of happiness, confusion, or sorrow? Well, how could we? Most of our day is spent staring at screens full of artificial realities anyways. Because let’s be honest- how many people really do have successful relationships bound by the perimeters of social media? And how many are successful based on understanding and care?
But perhaps this all has to do with our immaturity- we are still young and there is nothing wrong with that. And maybe we need to grow into beautiful relationships as such. Maybe love is something we must develop and immerse ourselves into. Maybe we will mature into it. And maybe, one day, impulsiveness, lust, greed, and selfishness will not be a factor. Or perhaps it will. But it’s up to us as individuals to choose. To choose patience over impatience and love over lust.
So if romantic movies have given me any real advice it’s this: Get up, go out, and live your life. And in the middle of all that chaos- fate will introduce you to new people to love and learn from. Keep living, keeping getting up everyday, and keep going out to fulfill any and all aspirations you may have. Love is not forced, love is natural. Don’t wait for it, it’ll come when you are least expecting it. And when it comes- treat it with some maturity.
