Growing up

Intense nostalgia. Wishing to go back in time. Constant reminiscing of the past. All symptoms of growing up.

The other day, as I was walking outside, I passed by an old memory. The school I had gone to for my first few years of elementary school. And although I had passed by it nearly everyday for four years, this time it really hit me that I no longer belonged to that school.

I went to that school for four years. Between grades K-3, that building was my home. Those kids and those teachers were my family. That playground was my world.

I still remember being in that school. I thought that I would stay forever. I thought that my whole life could be contained within those blue and yellow walls.

That school meant so much to me. It’s where I first forged friendships, where I made my first mistakes, where I learned the importance of fixing those mistakes. The place where I learned the value of education, and was taught to live a life dedicated to it.

Like most young children, I thought that I was special. I thought that my teachers would remember me for years. That since I worked hard, paid attention, never got in trouble, was always polite, that I would be memorable. I guess I was wrong.

Last year I happened to be on the playground of that school, when I saw the principal come out to pick up some equipment that a student had left outside. I approached her. I greeted her, told her my name, and asked if she still recognized me. And she didn’t. She told me that of course she did, that the braces just made me look different, and threw excuses at me, but I could tell. She had no idea who I was.

It broke my heart. For so many years, that was my whole world. And suddenly, I meant nothing to that world. I was just a mere passerby, who had no significance anymore.

It feels like yesterday when I stepped through those doors for the first time. The first day of kindergarten, the millions of photos my mother took, the little poem that my teacher gave to us.

And I’m no longer a part of that school. I’ve grown up. And I don’t want to. Believe me, I would give anything to just go back, and be that innocent kid again. But I can’t.

Growing up can feel like it sucks. You have to let go of so many things. Old friends, teachers, schools, and so much that you want to hold on to.

But there’s one thing that you don’t have to let go of. All the things you’ve learned, and all the memories you’ve created will stay with you, and guide you throughout your whole life.

So, you know what? It’s fine that they may not remember me. Because they’ve taught me how to be extraordinary. And one day, I’m gonna do something really extraordinary. And then they’ll have a reason to remember me.