How to deal with “goodbyes”

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How to deal with goodbyes

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There’s always a bittersweet twinge when you say the word “goodbye”. It’s when close friends move away. It’s when break-ups happen. It’s when loved ones pass away. “Goodbyes” are a part of life, just as much as saying “hellos” are. That is to say, life is full of beginnings and endings.

Perhaps by some cosmic coincidence, I’ve learned one after another that several people I’ve gotten to know are going to be leaving. The announcements came as a surprise and a sobering reminder that familiar patterns can change all of a sudden. There’s a certain sense of desperation when you come to the realization that this might be the last chance you see each other for a long time. No matter how hard you wish that it isn’t true, that won’t change things.

The impending loss forces you to reflect on the time you spent together. It makes you appreciate all the small things that you took for granted, whether it was a smile when you passed each other in the hallways or the enthusiasm that they brought to work every day. It dawns on you that it won’t be the same after they’re gone. There may be a final hurrah to celebrate how they impacted others, but once they’ve left, the world keeps moving forward – it won’t wait for you.

It’s during this time when you gaze nostalgically at old photos and reminisce on the lessons that they taught you. Even though they aren’t with you physically anymore, doesn’t mean that they aren’t with you spiritually. The memories that you created together aren’t automatically worth nothing after they’ve left. They’ve left a lasting impact on you and will shape the person you are in the future.

“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” – Dr. Seuss 

1782396_647466468660790_8271934260753695386_oFrom HONY 

“Do you remember the saddest moment of your life?”

“Probably sitting at the kitchen table with my dad, an hour after my mother died, realizing we had to figure out what we were going to do for lunch.”

I came upon this photo weeks ago, but it left a profound impression on me. Reading in between the lines, the message he’s trying to convey is how crazy it is to go back to “normal” life after such a devastating loss. I’ll inevitably have to say goodbye to my parents someday too. Maybe it’s something that I should just ignore, but it’s always at the back of my mind regardless. I imagine I’ll be grief-stricken for a period of time, but that I’ll eventually accept the truth and move on.

Realizing that nothing lasts forever makes everything seems that much more precious. You don’t know what you have until it’s gone. It’s important to think about these things from time to time, even though it’s honestly easier to convince ourselves that it’ll never happen to me.

Despite the heavy nature of this topic, I hate to end on a sad note. The closing of one door is the opening of another. Life has its fair share of loss, but there’s also so many things to be happy about. “Goodbye” should really be a “see you soon.” That is because you never know if somewhere down the road, your paths will cross again.