Why Stress? A Glimpse of the Real Chinese Lunar New Year Part I

The Chinese Lunar New Year is just around the corner. In less than two weeks, there will be a series of traditional celebration events happening in China and less remotely, Chinatown. Chinese culture has became pretty big over the last few decades in North America, due to the huge number of Chinese immigrants and of course, media influence. As a result, North Americans nowadays actually have a quite clear picture of what Chinese Lunar New Year looks like.

Or they think they do.

Dragon/Lion Dance, fireworks, red pocket, gifts, food…They all seem to be cheerful and festive. However, when I was talking to my friends and cousins in China online last week, a lot of them were very stressed.

I have not been taking part in the Chinese Lunar New Year celebration for 4 years, so I could not remember clearly if there is anything that made me stress out. Therefore, I asked them, “why are you so stressed about it? Isn’t it about winter holiday and lucky money and happiness?” My friends’ replies to that question are more or less the same, “Man I did too poor on my finals. My parents feel like they lose face because of me you know? I am not even allowed to visit other relatives’ places to say happy new year to them. ‘Study hard at home’ is what my Dad said.”

Then the memories started to rush back into my head. So the process is like this: before the New Year’s Eve, the whole family needs to clean up the house for a “fresh start” of the new year. During the meantime, some members are assigned to prepare for the ginormous New Year’s Eve dinner, and snacks like nuts and candies are served on the table all day. After a day of cleaning, kids are changed into new clothes and the whole family eats dinner together. After dinner, the kids would go out and play with firecrackers, while the adults sit, chat, play poker and watch TV. When the kids get back, everyone sits on the sofa and watches TV. Around midnight, the grandparents would give “red pockets” to the kids, to wish them lucky in the new year. Starting on the second day, people will start to visit each other, and that is when the problems come in.

It is the way that people show care for each other in China. In North America, where privacy is valued quite heavily between people, things like this do not usually happen during Christmas. However, in China, the younger generations’ privacy is not respected at all by the elders. For example, my friend is a student and just finished his finals, so when he goes to visit his grandparents, and if all his uncles and aunts are there, my friend is most likely to be questioned about his marks and ranking in school. It can be quite intimidating sometimes as the competition in school is huge, and if one of his cousins did better than him, it would be very embarrassing for some parents. It is not that people do that on purpose to insult their younger relatives, but they do not realize that others’ privacy needs to be respected. Instead, they think ask about relatives’ marks, salaries, marital or dating status, work etc is a way to show that they care. However, it is the “care” that puts a lot of pressure on the people they care about, and makes Lunar New Year not such a pleasant experience as it should be.

Despite all the stress people have to deal with during Chinese Lunar New Year, there are still a lot of neat things to look forward to. In Part II, there will be some interesting cultural details/facts about the Lunar New Year, so stay tuned!=)