Introduction
There is no easy way to put it out there; you have to change something about your life to achieve happiness, or at least, a stable state of mind. But first, we have to understand what it means to change.
According to Google, one may define change as:
to replace (something) with something else, especially something of the same kind that is newer or better; substitute one thing for (another).
But obviously, there has to be something seriously good about the other option that makes us want to choose change. Humans are obviously not naturally open to change, although we experience it in the circumstances and people we meet.
Even the slightest habits you have can impact your thoughts, but I am not here to talk about the psychology behind who you are, what you do, and why. I want to offer a solution, or even the slightest revelation about the mind you woke up today and will sleep with tomorrow.
——————————————————————————————————
First, start with understanding what got you here. Did it come in all of a sudden, or have you been consistently desiring something? Write your answers down on paper. Sometimes, all someone needs is clarification on what they have been looking into.
The next thing is not finding out why necessarily, but painting a picture of how your life looks now without it and after with it. Describe what that thing does for you. By describing, I mean, really seeing what it does for you, what noticeably changes for you. Make sure that it is all in first-person before you see it through someone else‘s eyes.
Lastly, is this something that you can do tomorrow, or would it take more time? Most of the time, it is usually the latter rather than the former. But why exactly? Does it have to do with the task itself? Does it require more than from the energy than you have at the moment? Do you think about what interferes with you having it? Everything is in possession, and whatever you think this thing can do for you, you want it to be in your possession. Or is that truly the case? Your thoughts are not in your possession, it is not something you own. Just something you were born with… something you are not entitled to believe in, blah, blah, blah.
The time we take to ponder can either be a waste of your time as you are catching up with the rest of the day, or lead you onto the kind of journey you think best fits your ideals, emotions, life experiences, etc. But most of those things are shaped by your environment, so there may be no point in discussing possession: peace of mind, academic success, a plane ticket, a new wardrobe. These desires are constantly warped by what you think you are in charge of and therefore can change. An illusion most of us have been living under, as we are rotten to the core by systems that only challenge plain hormones and natural responses. Just as smart and capable as we can be, we have the characteristics of animals. But we always think it is something more than that.
See, for myself, I always used to wonder how people could manifest or say they want something and could easily get it. It is not because of what they have or because I constantly experience self-doubt and cannot manifest; it could have been something that day that led me to that thought. Perhaps I got a mediocre grade, and that was it. It was done. And so, I could gamble on how well I do on another test, and everything can go back to normal. Normal, meaning my grades could be as high as ever, but this is exactly what messes with the way we process our emotions and how we decide the next goal or objective. We are strategists who never take the time to watch things unfold before wanting the next best remedy. This leads us to times when we can feel hopeless or that we have gotten ourselves into doing something irreversible. There was no sign of me choosing the reversed option back then to understand why I even got that grade.
Thoughts are not bad. They are important, even if it reveals unhappy or apparently undesirable situations. But they also help us forget how to take charge of a situation. Like now, I could have just gone to talk about capitalism stealing everything from the human spirit. But it would also never dig deeper into the paradox of free will and a dream life. I would be stuck in the same web of consciousness versus the life I want.
Both things can interfere with each other, but not every time at 2 am when I want to change my life. Balance is integral to achieving a life you are happy with. Even doing good things and building character is essential for the same reason, so that you remember you are capable of making an impact, and therefore, progress. All that we see in the world could include all the things that we have but cannot see in ourselves. How we may look at the scientist who made an interesting invention can point to how we can truly challenge ourselves and the world in innovatively approaching a problem. I like to watch movies and consume art as a whole because of it, to look through a window or into a mirror to understand what could be blocking me or something I really need to accept.
You do get lost, but that is a part of it. Your clarity only fits with what you deem is fair and reasonable. You should not be blinded by what you cannot see, but live through it. Holding onto what we think belongs to us will only ever reduce the chances of being happy; that takes pursuit and uncertainty. I do not prefer to quote things, but a similar definition made by the author Bill Burnett from his book Designing Your Life, “Dysfunctional Belief: Happiness is having it all. Reframe: Happiness is letting go of what you don’t need.”
Reframing your thoughts is a method that works, but methods are only methods. Seek to accept what you may not understand or have not completely acknowledged. Seek does not mean do right away. It means taking your time and going at your own pace.
I cannot judge you on your journey; the process is as unique as my own and should not be comparable. But we are all travelling through the same tunnel, desiring light at the end, as if that is the only symbol of hope. And from what I have learned, I hope we may all defy ourselves to achieve peace and happiness.