How to Become a Dictator: A Satirical Guide to Rule

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Photo by Bradley Andrews on Unsplash

Welcome to the only guide needed for YOU to become a dictator. Moreover, rather than facilitating your (maybe?) desire, it will help you recognize the steps taken by someone who aims to control power.

(Just to be clear, this is not for usage, just education!)

Step One: Find a Country in a Complete Crisis

To establish a complete dictatorship, you can’t show up when things are going well. Wait until chaos and turmoil begin to stir, or better yet, create it. You have to ensure that the country is in such a state that people cannot imagine how this situation could be fixed, unless it’s a complete revolution from someone as amazing as yourself! Whether it’s a broken economy, humiliation of your country’s national identity, or stirring up a civil war, fear makes people pathetic and desperate enough to accept a revolutionary with promises to fix it all. 

Step Two: Leverage Your Enemy or Create an Enemy (better) 

People love to blame others for their problems, so it’s your job to create an enemy who is now the epitome of the entire country’s problems, related or not. It’s best to leverage groups who look different, whether through race or ethnicity, or even those who may believe in a different religion than the majority. This unites the majority while outcasting the minority, with all the fear and hate directed to a certain group, you look like an angel casting your vision of a society without any enemies present, whether through ethnic cleansing or a complete genocide.

Step Three: Write a Manifesto to Reason Your Powerful Ideas 

In order for everyday citizens to rally behind your cause, you need them to feel connected to your ideals, now, this is where you give them a friendly helping hand, and push them to read your manifesto that both targets your enemy while allowing you thoroughly explain your ideas. Under the blur of hatred in their eyes, they simply ignore the lack of empathy, or even humanity in your manifesto, if it means placing the blame or even eliminating the enemy.

Outline your ideology in black and white, that promises to restore or guarantee strength, unity and most importantly greatness! Position yourself as the ultimate leader, and the only one capable enough to be bestowed with the honor to carry out this agenda. Ensure this is powerful enough that people can rally behind it, and base their entire livelihoods on it, even if it leads them off a cliff. 

Step Four: Eliminate ANY Political Opposition 

Now, you may think that since you’ve garnered the attention of the people, you’re successful, but while you bask in the attention, political opposition is bound to rise. Not all are smart enough to agree with your brilliance, they may even say this an attempt to establish a dictatorship, but now it is your job to quash any and all of these claims.  Anyone that has the ability to strip your power from you, is now deemed too powerful, and must be eliminated. This may be gruesome for most, but to fulfill your role to the people, it is what needs to be done, no sympathy or any glimpse of humanity must be shown when executing this. While they are gentler ways of silencing such as jailing critics, banning political parties, eliminating them allows for a clean slate that cannot be plagued by their constant nagging. Do what is necessary. 

Step Five: Control EVERYTHING People Hear and See (we can’t afford spreading the wrong narrative, can we?)

If people don’t know/hear/see the truth, they won’t be able to fight you. We need to get YOUR message out there, and this starts with schools. Indoctrination of the youth is key to ensure the longevity of your message, without them, this message will die with you, and this will all be temporary. Propaganda spread through newspapers, radio, and schools will glorify you, and blame your enemies for the country’s crisis. When you paint the story, you control what the people believe, and there is nothing better than that. 

Step Six: Rule Through Fear 

Now by this step the majority of people will begin to realize what is truly happening. You have some staunch supporters, but don’t get arrogant now, they rest know your true intentions. Now here, you must perpetuate fear on the streets of your country. Even if these people do not believe you, they’ll be bound to obey you if they’re scared enough. Now to do so, there are various interesting techniques that can be implemented, secret police, random arrests, torture, the world is truly your oyster! When people live in the constant fear of being denounced or being eliminated, they would rather rat others out than step out of line themselves, this makes it so easy for you! Under your dictatorship, fear replaces freedom. 

Step Seven: Annihilate Individual Freedoms (MOST IMPORTANT!)

In the end, your dictatorship shouldn’t just take power, but take away hope. Personal rights must be abolished. Freedom, any form of speech, religion, thought, expression, must be crushed in your palms. Everything becomes about loyalty to YOU. Humanizing these people allows them to believe the false narrative that they can control what happens to them, but we have now established that is not true anymore. Your dictatorship isn’t about political power, but stripping humanity from your citizens, it’s better for them anyways. 

 

Dictators build their empires by convincing people to trade their freedom for safety and the promise of a better tomorrow. History shows us, when rights are taken slowly, and voices fall silent, it doesn’t happen overnight, but step by step (maybe using this awesome guide).