‘Tis the season for presents, family, and holiday cheer! A big part of giving and receiving is showing gratitude, and thank you cards are such a wonderful way to do that. In this post, we’ll discuss why we should write them, when we should write them, and how we can write them, with a general format so you can get started easily.
Why You Should Write One
Regardless of how close you are to someone, sending gratitude is never unwelcome. Polite etiquette and kindness not only increase your own mood, but also increase chances of receiving another act of kindness. People are more likely to help those who appreciate their help, and they won’t know you appreciate their help if you don’t thank them for it.
Sending gratitude has positive effects on both the sender and the receiver, but many struggle with sending them because they overestimate the awkwardness of the recipient and underestimate the recipient’s appreciation. In reality, most people are happy their efforts feel
When You Should Write a Thank You Card
Thank you cards are great for many occasions, but might come off a bit formal. There’s also no formal structure or inclusion guide – should you include a gift card? Cash? Is that too much? – so it can be hard to write them when you don’t know the occasion.
As we’ve already outlined though, there’s many benefits to writing gratitude cards. So here’s some examples of when you should write one:
- Holidays, after receiving a gift from someone you’re not super close with
- Birthdays, in the form of a birthday card
- Your own birthday, to thank someone for thinking of you
- References, to thank someone for providing you a reference letter
- After an interview
- Being a houseguest
- IMMEDIATELY after the event you’re grateful for. The sooner after, the more genuine it seems.
When NOT to send a thank-you note
- right before you ask someone for something – it decreases the authenticity of the note
- when you’re angry – the tone will sound off and the recipient can easily sense the negativity and lack of authenticity
How to send a thank you note
Physical ones are best! In this digital age where everything is tiny formatted text, handwritten notes are more personal and authentic. That having been said, if a digital note is the only possible way to send gratitude, send your note that way. Any note is definitely better than none at all.
Sending Physical Notes
Cards are ultimately more formal than sheets of lined paper, but if that’s what you’ve got you can still make the best use of it.
Write in pen, sign off, and make sure you personalize the contents. Don’t use AI – it ultimately defeats the purpose of thanking someone genuinely – and try to brainstorm what you’d like to say before writing it on the card.
Sending Digital Notes
There’s digital cards too, but if a kind email is the best you can do try to make it genuine. Follow basic email etiquette – keep it short, sweet, organized, and direct.
General Thank You Note Format:
This differs in tone depending on who you’re sending the note to and what your relationship is to them, so I’ve left the structure flexible. Be sure to personalize and add your own specific flair to it.
1. Introduction
Keep this part to the point. Be direct and clear about what you’re grateful for. A good outline might look like this:
“Dear [person],
I wanted to thank you for [thing you’re grateful for]/It was so kind of you to [thing you’re grateful for]. [Insert how it affected you/impacted you].”
2. Depth
Here’s where you talk with more detail about what you’re grateful for and what you’re hoping the relationship will develop into in the future (if that’s what you’re hoping for). The more personal you make this, the more meaningful it is.
“I thought [some aspect] was really [thoughtful/insightful/interesting]. It made me think about [something]. I hope we can [future goals].”
3. Conclusion
Sign off with cordiality, depending on how close you are with the person you’re thanking.
TL;DR
Thank-you notes are important for the sender and the recipient. They’re appropriate for most occasions, so don’t feel intimidated and give it a shot!