In the age of social media and streaming platforms, teenagers are finding themselves swept into an unrealistic portrayal of life that often leaves them frustrated, stressed, and disconnected from reality. The allure of a “perfect” life—akin to romantic comedies or Instagram-ready moments—is a growing concern, as idealized depictions of success, relationships, and struggles influence how young people perceive their own experiences.
We’ve all seen the movie scenes: a girl walks gracefully along a sunlit beach, chatting effortlessly while her hair blows perfectly in the wind. In reality, this picturesque moment often translates into tangled hair, burning feet on scorching sand, and an overall less-than-glamorous experience. This contrast highlights the core problem—life rarely mirrors these flawless on-screen moments, yet teenagers feel pressured to replicate them.
Social Media and Teenage Stress
A 2018 study by the American Psychological Association found a strong link between teenage stress and the chronic use of social media. Platforms like Instagram and TikTok promote selective sharing, showcasing only the most curated and idealized snapshots of life. This fuels perfectionism—a growing pressure to appear flawless in academics, relationships, and personal achievements.
In response to this pressure, many teens turn to online trends encouraging them to “romanticize school” or everyday life. Viral videos teach teens how to make mundane experiences feel cinematic, fostering unrealistic expectations. Rather than appreciating genuine moments, young people are encouraged to construct ‘main character’ experiences that mimic fictional portrayals. This creates an unhealthy cycle where real life feels disappointing by comparison.
The Glorification of Struggle: Media’s Role in Unrealistic Expectations
An example of this phenomenon can be seen in popular shows like Gilmore Girls, where Rory Gilmore’s late-night study sessions are often romanticized. In one iconic scene, Rory dismisses sleep in favour of academic success, saying, “Who cares if I’m pretty if I fail my finals?” While the quote resonates with students online, it fails to portray the reality—exhaustion, stress, and the emotional toll of overwork.
These media depictions glorify struggle, leading teens to believe that sleepless nights and high stress are necessary components of success. In reality, these moments come with significant consequences that often go unacknowledged in romanticized portrayals.
Breaking the Cycle: Goal Setting as a Solution
One effective way to combat the harmful effects of romanticization is through organized goal-setting. By focusing on personal growth and realistic expectations, teenagers can reframe their mindset and embrace genuine progress. Pablo Picasso once said, “Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan.” The key lies in prioritizing the process over unattainable outcomes.
There are three main types of goals that can help shift focus from perfection to personal fulfilment:
- Process Goals: These goals focus on daily habits and actions, encouraging consistent effort rather than instant success.
- Performance Goals: These emphasize measurable progress, helping individuals celebrate small, achievable milestones.
- Outcome Goals: These provide long-term direction while reducing the pressure to control every aspect of the final result.
By adopting a structured approach to goal setting, teenagers can align their actions with their values and aspirations. This not only reduces stress but also fosters a healthier, more realistic perspective on achievement.
A Call for Realism
In a world saturated with idealized images and fictional portrayals, it is essential to embrace life’s imperfections. Rather than chasing unattainable standards, young people can find fulfilment in authentic experiences and personal growth. Life is not a carefully staged film or an edited social media post—it is meant to be lived honestly, with all its chaos and complexity.
By shifting focus away from romanticization and perfectionism, teenagers can reduce unnecessary stress and cultivate a more balanced, meaningful approach to life. True fulfilment lies not in fabricated ideals, but in the messy, imperfect reality of genuine experience. ¹ ² ³ ⁴ ⁵ ⁶ ⁷ ⁸