Maturity is a concept that, as we reach the brink of adulthood, we are more likely to come face to face with. What is different between an immature child and a mature adult is the ability to handle ourselves and our emotions. Maturity in the emotional/mental state that comes from reaching a stage in our mindset where we can achieve levels of understanding of our thoughts and guide our behaviours in appropriate manners. With more experiences of life, and all it holds in store, people can learn to mature: to grow their mindset, to understand the effects of themselves and their existence on others and how to dictate those behaviours.
I doubt my own maturity a lot, even for someone who will be a legal adult soon. An example of this at play in my life is my never ending fights with my parents. A specific argument I had about my mom was about expectations. My mom was explaining how my cousin was finishing medical school and how she would come back from abroad to get certified here. Somehow, I found myself telling her about the med school process here. The extensive criteria and levels of excellence that are required. She countered that it was a field that required great commitment and that it would only take a dedicated and accomplished person to succeed. Instead of taking her comment as being harmless, I took it hot headedly arguing with her that life didn’t amount to just the person and their capabilities. That perhaps the people who didn’t succeed in the field or else didn’t pursue it simply were not interested, not that they couldn’t commit or were any less accomplished. I think the comment rubbed me the wrong way at that moment. What if that was my goal and for a million different reasons I was deterred from completing it? Is that what my parents would think of me? Would my failure boil down to my lack of commitment, my inability to be determined or accomplished?
Upon reflection, it was a moment of sheer immaturity. I didn’t take the moment to consider that she wasn’t aiming her words to make me feel that way. Perhaps she spoke in respect for the field. Or perhaps she was speaking to support me to be determined and aim to achieve my goals rather than be deterred. If I had been able to think clearly and consider that my mother didn’t mean to offend me in any way, I could have been able to respond without taking offence, and perhaps without ruining the moment for myself. This is a very simple example of how maturity can take effect in our everyday lives.
The ability of teenagers to mature into adults comes from a place of self understanding, and understanding of our environments or situations. In the context of my example, I may have understood how I was feeling and aimed to communicate that in the moment, but I was unable to capture the tone of the situation and understand that my reaction, in the way that I voiced it, wasn’t necessary. The ability to rationalize and understand your feelings and how to approach challenging situations is the basis of being able to grow up. A word in my mother tongue that explains this is “ehsas,” it means to understand your actions and be aware of the impacts of them. If I were to throw a tantrum at every raw emotion I felt and every challenge I faced, I would be no different than a child who was still accommodating to the ways of life and human interactions. As we grow older and witness the repercussions of our words and actions, we begin to internalize the understanding of how our behaviour affects others. I am now willing to open myself up to conversations instead of arguments, to take into consideration other points of views and why they are relevant points. This, perhaps, is only the beginning stages of maturity, but I am still learning and perhaps my willingness to learn is an extension of the maturity that I am developing.