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Youth Are Awesome, commonly referred to as YAA, is a blog written by youth for youth. YAA provides the youth of Calgary a place to amplify their voices and perspectives on what is happening around them. Youth Are Awesome is a program of Youth Central.

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Home Advice Letting go of the Past

Letting go of the Past

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Do you feel frequently that you can’t move on? It’s so difficult to overcome your past as it has a significant impact on our daily lives and decisions. We look at the past when figuring something out or when trying something new. BUT, what if you want to let go of something in the past? Not everything in the past is something we want to remember. Those tough moments become this dreadful feeling that can act as an obstacle in our life. This blog is going to help you find a way to get rid of your feelings of hurt, regret, anxiety, depression, or any other obstacles which stop you from working towards your happiness. I know this can be tough at times, but you have to try it some day or another in order to live in the present moment. LETS START!

Why is it good to let go of the past?

First, we have to understand the importance of letting go of the past. To begin with, everyone makes some sort of mistakes or has painful memories, and sometimes they are engraved into our minds. It’s so strenuous to get rid of them and we end up walking around with those mistakes, memories, failures, disappointments, and our hurts. Therefore, taking the time to ease our minds and let go of the past is vital.

The way you look at things, like your perspective, will change for the better once you begin letting go of the past. Talking about positivity, we can make the bad experiences from our past into something we can learn from. For example, by discussing the situation that weighs on our minds with someone else that you may trust. Doing this will help you see different perspectives, and how others view the situation. Yet, this may not solve the problem completely, however, it’s a step! That’s way better than leaving the situation where it is. Finally, when letting go you will feel like a load has been lifted off of your shoulders, encouraging you to move forward with only the lessons you have learned. The feelings of failure, disappointments, and our hurts, we won’t have to face. We will live in the present moment, focusing on making it the best!

Steps to stop struggling with the past and to let go of it:

  1. If you want to really let go of the past, you have to make it your top priority. Now it’s not only a want to let go of the past it is a “must.” You have to acknowledge the fact that what you are holding back is why you must move on. Changing the letting go goal to a “must” will help you to stay focused and determined.

  2. We all know that life doesn’t give you second chances. However, we can make a list of things that we want to “re-do” (something that you would have done differently). We make lists for so many things, for instance grocery lists, packing, to-do lists, and so many more. Likewise, we can also make a list for things we want to “re-do”. It can help us learn from the mistakes that we have made and help us correct the situation moving forward. In addition, this will help us develop our planning skills and shape us for future events and our life goals.

  3. Practicing mindfulness is another way that can help us let go of the past. If making lists don’t help you, then try meditating or practicing mindfulness. Mindfulness motivates people to concentrate on what’s happening in the present. One fact – 2016 paper advice that people who are more mindful encounter less sad/dark thoughts which are occurring continuously (also known as rumination). Meditation doesn’t even have to take long, there are videos online that will guide you through 5 minutes of meditation. In addition, you can do it anywhere and anytime.

  4. Something as simple as enjoying the present will help us let go of the past. Try to find things you are grateful in your life right now. Not enjoying your present life can lead you to have regrets in the future making the goal of letting go of the past more difficult. Overall, you should go out with friends and family, enjoy what life has in store right now. Accomplish what you want to right now. The past is done, now it is time for the present.

  5. One of the best things you can do is try to talk about it. The worst feeling is when those painful emotions or situations are stuck with you and won’t leave. When talking about it, you give yourself a feeling of relief. As a matter of fact, it is also important because “people can’t let go because they feel they aren’t allowed to talk about it,” says Durvasula. “This may be because the people around them no longer want to hear about it [or the person is] embarrassed or ashamed to keep talking about,” she explains. To summarize Durvasula suggests in finding someone who is patient and accepting, such as a friend or a therapist to talk about it.

Holding onto the past can limit you

“You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.” – This is a very famous quote and can’t be more true then it already is. One question I want to ask is: Do you reference and use your past experiences when you make decisions or when finding a justification for your current actions? If your answer is a yes then it clearly states that the past is limiting you.

Moving forward is very important as it’s advancing who you are. It takes a lot of energy to be holding onto the past, but what if you use that energy in moving yourself forward. The energy that can keep you running, why use it for something that has already happened? For example, when running a race, we use all our energy to keep moving forward, not wanting to waste it on anything else. In the middle of a race, you won’t start jumping up in the air since it’s not moving you forward, it’s keeping you where you are and instead, wasting your energy. That’s kind of the general idea of holding onto the past.