It took 334 days, and I still can’t forget you.

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There was a knock at the door.

Alia’s hair was ratty and unwashed and was quick to throw into a messy bun as she put her morning coffee down. She wasn’t expecting anything except an online package and some coupons but mail came later in the day. It was 3:56 in the morning. Alia couldn’t sleep last night or any night for nearly a  year.

She sighs as she opens an orange prescription bottle that she was too familiar with, this month to be a miracle. It hadn’t been working but the psychiatrist that prescribed it said it gave it time but month after month different pills and treatments don’t seem to help.

She walks over to the door and clicks the security button on the speaker

“Who are you and why are you at my house so goddamn early”

She gives an internal chuckle, if it’s the mailman then this is gonna be quite an impression. 

“Uh…” A murmur echoed behind the concrete of the door.

“Speak up” Alia didn’t mean to be rude, but if someone had the courage to knock at someone’s door, they should have the courage to speak. 

“Uhm… uh…” More stuttered mumbles like thunder rattled behind the door. 

After a few more minutes of whoever was at the other side of the door mumbling and fiddling with the English language like a Rubik’s cube, Alia decided to look through her peephole.

The second her eyes landed on the object dysfunctioning behind her door, she tore her eyes away from the door looking down at the colourful cyan doormat she bought on sale at a flower shop. She took a deep breath and shook her head.  Her head rose up as she peered through the peephole again and saw him again.

Tall and lean with shaggy brown hair and chocolate-covered eyes. He was looking around while his mouth floundered grasping for the words. For an English major, he sure didn’t know how to use his words. No, it’s not him. It can’t be.

To assure herself that this was nothing more than a sick daydream she pressed the speaker button again while keeping her eye on the peephole. 

“…Jeremy” She whispered, not trusting her voice or her current state of mind. 

The floundering stopped as he stared at the speaker.

“Jeremy Sloan” A bit louder than a murmur Alia’s voice carried through the speaker.

He gulped looking as though he had run a mile while just standing there.

She felt her lungs collapsing and numbness filling her senses. This was a sick dream.

“Is this Alia?” He regained his will to speak. 

His voice shook, strangled and caught. Her stomach felt like it dropped through her feet.

 

She threw open the door.

“Jeremy” her voice was still a whisper.

If this was a dream then let it be a dream. At least the pills were working.

He stood there frozen in place like a scared animal afraid to move, to breathe. They locked eyes for an eternity before he cleared his voice.

“I missed you” gravelly and weak, his frame stood taught and frail.

Alia took a step out of her doorway and stood in front of Jeremy. She hesitantly lifted her hand to his face, expecting the dream to end and her to wake up in tears like she had dozens of times before. 

When her shaking hand made contact with his skin, an electric shock went through her spine.  Like reality snapped into the moment, she felt the world spin. Her eyes widened and her mouth fell slack. All of the stardust from moments ago seems so far away.

“Your real” now it was her, whose voice shook like a newborn animal. 

She was delusional. She took a step away from him and then another until she almost fell through her doorway. Her eyes welling up.

“How….you..” She seemed to choke on the reality of the situation “You’re here… alive… wow… how…. have….. where… “

He cautiously touched her arm afraid she would break into a million pieces. 

“I’m here now,” He cradled her, his arms as familiar as her favourite sweater. 

“But how,” Her voice was thick, the tears welling over her eyes marrying her skin. 

“There’ll be time for that,” He was a lake at dawn, calm. 

 

~~~~~~~~

 

They end up on the couch, intertwined like no time has passed.

 

“What happened?” Alia’s voice became steadier than it had been minutes ago, face mostly dry. 

“What do you mean?” He sounded genuinely lost. 

 

“One day, you were just gone”  Her voice cracked, eyes wide, hands shaking. 

“Right,” With a grimacing expression Jeremy gazed down at Alia with sad eyes.

She looked at him for a moment while he looked imploringly at a wall decoration, the second he locked eyes with Alia her face crumbled a little bit.

He sighed “it’s a long story” He started biting his thumbnail. Alia wondered why he was so nervous. 

“You conned me into thinking you were dead for 11 months. I have time” Her raspy voice filled with determination and annoyance. 

“Oh what, you kept track?” Amusement bloomed at the corners of his mouth, his voice laced with sarcasm. 

“Yes. Every day, every month.” Finality laid in her voice. 

As he opened his mouth she got up from his arms and went to her room, coming back with a calendar full of red X’s. She flipped through the whole thing until she landed on the current month which was only half full of Xs.

Full of wonderment Jermy thought of the first words he could say. His heart bloomed with sadness picturing Alia sitting there making X’s, waiting for him.  “No x today?” 

“I would have put one but someone knocked on my door” she smiled a watery smile, her cheeks still blotchy and red. “Why were you gone so long”

The way she said it, it didn’t sound like a question but more like a statement. 

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